I used to pride myself on my “self-awareness”. As such, I told my NVX all my weaknesses and shortcomings. He then used those things against me, blaming every problem in our relationship on me instead of taking responsibility. Since I had already admitted to certain negative traits, I couldn’t easily argue against him when he said things like “you just think that because you’re too insecure” or “this is only a problem because you didn’t call me out before; you’re horrible at communication.” I began to doubt myself and my own perception.

Of course, it’s great to be self-aware. But that is for YOURSELF: knowing your own weaknesses helps you address them so you can grow as a person. There is no reason to make anyone else aware of your flaws. Women often talk about our weaknesses because we want to be seen as “humble” and to show that we recognize our own imperfection. But you can be humble and self-aware without having to prove it to anyone else.

Besides, I‘ve now come to the realization that I was never as self aware as I thought I was. I was indeed acutely aware of all of my shortcomings, but I failed to see any of my strengths. It was only recently, when I made friends who truly build me up, that I realized I have SO many amazing qualities. I was always so fixated on all the things I did wrong that I failed to see the unique value I brought into the world.

If you often find yourself revealing your weaknesses for the sake of “self-awareness” and “openness”, please reconsider. Recognize those weaknesses, try to fix them, but don’t share them with anyone else (except maybe a therapist). Not even with friends. And for heaven’s sake, don’t confine your self-awareness only to negative traits. You are an amazing person with an amazing perspective, shaped both by your unique genes and by your unique history and life experiences. You bring a combination of traits, ideas, and skills to the table that no other person in the history of the world has ever brought. You have a LOT to offer. Don’t forget that.