How do you break up with someone?

Sufficient_Screen776 · 2021-10-11T01:17:43+00:00

Look - I’m not going to tell you what to do, but I’ll tell you about my experiences.

There were 2-3 instances a number of years ago where in my dating history, I was chatting to men whom I quickly realised (for whatever reason) were not going to be a good fit. With some, I came to that realisation after a few weeks. With others, it was literally in a matter of days. So you couldn’t call any of them serious flirtations; let alone relationships. You would imagine there would be very little emotional attachment, especially when compared to your situation.

For all of these men, the engagement was in conversation only, and no physical contact ever occurred. For each of them, I decided to call and explain that whilst I didn’t feel it was going to work out romantically, I did value them as people and they had not done anything to cause this to happen. I did this with some naivety, thinking (like you) that this was the correct approach and that they’d appreciate the explanation and consideration. I thought because they were men, they would not react emotionally.

I was very wrong.

They were hostile and angry. One cried. They demanded even further explanation- some of the phone calls went on for hours, and I ended up having to console them. It really took me by surprise, and if I’m honest, I regretted being truthful.

I really could not understand it. I’m a pretty woman, but I’m also one of thousands. So I’m not going to deceive myself into thinking I’m so special or wonderful that these normal men suddenly lost their minds over me. It’s just not the case. So I wonder if other women had had this experience. I would be inclined to think perhaps they have - in which case, I’m advising you to fully prepare for this in case it does happen to you.

In these instances, I now wish I would have sent a short but courteous message instead. I know you have been seeing this man for a few months, so a call is still probably merited. But please learn from my mistake and plan ahead exactly what you are going to say, and how you’re going to end the call. Set a time limit with an escape strategy like prior plans.

For your own sake, prepare for some hostility (and hope you don’t encounter it). It’s upsetting when it happens and you’re not ready for the nice person you’ve been chatting to suddenly turn into a total arse.

Best of luck, and good on you for still wanting to do the decent thing.

Leg_Mcmuffin · 2021-10-11T04:32:27+00:00

Send a text like…

“Hey guy I’m dating,

I think it’s best if we just move on. You seem disinterested, and I’m pretty over it myself. Please mail me back the cheezits I left at your house from when we watched King of the Hill last week.”

quirkypinkllama · 2021-10-10T23:59:12+00:00

I would tell him what you need and ask if he's willing to give it. If not, then say that you need to end things cause your needs aren't being met.

Environmental_Ad5867 · 2021-10-11T00:38:29+00:00

If you’ve made up your mind in ending things, I would suggest you do it a phone call in this case. Personally, I’d only text if I’ve only been on 1-3 dates with a person but if you’ve been with someone for 4 months, I’d think a phone call is the right thing unless of course you’re worried about verbal abuse etc.

SecretFeminine · 2021-10-11T00:20:37+00:00

It sounds like if you stop contacting him, the relationship will fizzle away. So I would just stop contacting him.

cats5483 · 2021-10-11T00:23:20+00:00

text him that you need to talk about something serious. request to meet in person and somewhere quiet where you can talk. if you cant meet in person, then a phone or video call is much better than a text. with texting, you cant hear each others tone of voice. plus, its more respectful to meet in person or to talk on the phone.

as for the conversation itself: be honest, but dont be condescending. explain your thoughts and feelings, and let him explain his as well.

*edit: typo

windcleaber · 2021-10-10T23:52:22+00:00

Ghost him

pkuforlife · 2021-10-11T05:37:23+00:00

How often would you guys see each other or be intimate with each other during these 4 months? Trying to get an idea of how serious this was.

Prettyho304 · 2021-10-11T14:55:26+00:00

Ghost him.

aquariangem · 2021-10-12T01:20:45+00:00

Hi, sorry about what’s happening. Did did you two officially decide on being in a relationship? Or are you just dating. If that’s the case, there’s no need to say anything. Otherwise you can hop on a call and break up amicably, to avoid drama. Just say you’re not compatible, so this can’t work out.

Good luck :)

Title	How do you break up with someone?
Author	Rarerestofbeans
Upvotes	1
Comments	28
Date	October 10, 2021 11:41 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/q5jjo3/how_do_you_break_up_with_someone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-do-you-break-up-with-someone.1076365 https://theredarchive.com/post/1076365

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