My STBX is going to ruin my new relationship before it actually has a chance

pegleg_legal · 2021-10-05T12:11:53+00:00

Maybe she's just normal. That's what happened to me with my "rebound". Not saying you should jettison her but you need to handle your shit and if she can't wait, wtf? You don't need more pressure to do anything than you've already got.

dday_throwaway3 · 2021-10-05T12:15:52+00:00

Your STBX's behavior is predictable and expected. The insight you're looking for is here: https://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=81647

Adorable_FecalSpray · 2021-10-05T16:47:51+00:00

Dude, have you spent any time on your own figuring out the mistakes you made to get you to the first divorce? Sounds like you just jumped from one to the next. Which means you will probably repeat the same or similar mistakes with the same outcome.

One of a kind, a unicorn I am sure. There are tens of thousands of other women out there. This one isn’t your soulmate. Just like the last one, which you probably thought the same about, wasn’t either.

Gxl4 · 2021-10-05T19:19:10+00:00

''She is truly one of a kind'' just remember that you probably already thought this once.

henrysmyagent · 2021-10-05T20:49:54+00:00

Never mention your ex-wife to any romantic interest except in terms of logistics. (I have to pick up my kids from the ex at 3pm today)

Keep her bullshit far away from any potential girlfriend. Definitely tell them the truth - she is a high-conflict pain on the ass, but do not bring sny of her shit into the new relationship.

Speak of her like you would a traffic jam on the way home from work. You would remark that the traffic is bad, but never bitch about it endlessly.

Mavik52 · 2021-10-05T21:14:34+00:00

This is actually very easy. It's not your decision to make. Your priority is your children. You put them first and manage your stbx to the best of your ability. You communicate honestly to your current woman exactly what the current situation is, no minimizing, no excuses. You are effectively communicating this is who I am and currently this is my situation. You can communicate the goal you are trying to reach. And then you are done. It's now her choice whether or not she wants to be apart of your journey. If you are completely transparent and confident in who you are and how you are conducting yourself, she can either choose to join you or part ways. Either decision you should be ok with. If you have not internalized this then you have not done the necessary work coming out of a divorce. As someone mentioned earlier, there are thousands of women, there are no unicorns. If you want a healthy relationship than you must be your authentic self first and a woman can either join you or bounce. If you are worried about your current woman leaving because of the craziness she sees coming from your ex then you are attempting to please a woman who is judging your current circumstances. Let her leave. You can't negotiate desire and you want a woman who desires you so intensely that even your current situation is worth it to be with you.

chakamaki · 2021-10-05T12:45:19+00:00

Here are my thoughts:

We as a man need to learn a lot a looooooot about women nature… I am not against women or marriage… obviously I can’t help everyone over the social media like Reddit…

But believe me… I am staying alone since 5 years without my son (I was not able to see or talk to him) paying child support and maintenance to her while cases are still in court …(different country not US, I am in US now)… man are idealistic they want everything to be great women are opportunistic they behave based on opportunities and emotions… nothing wrong in that … it’s just the way women are evolved as a human… different than man…

I will post few things for you guys in hope that it will help you all to come out of your ignorance and mentality that we are right now in…

It’s not her … it’s our mind against us… Our thoughts and conditioning of Disney fantasies are against us…

for any men wants to know psychology and understand about the female nature... go through these lists of books and youtube series...

Books:

— Rational Male - 4 books

— “No more Mr. Nice Guy” book

— Predatory Female - http://www.revolucionantifeminista.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/lawrence-shannon-the-predatory-female.pdf

— Manipulated Men book by a woman : https://selfdefinition.org/psychology/Esther-Vilar-The-Manipulated-Man.pdf

— Few YoutTube Playlist and series:

— Men, Women nature, feminism, politics etc... : https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL0A235BDB72C8F8FB

— Rollo Tomassi :

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8eLDzfH6YfZRDbDuMsNWiA

— Rich Cooper : https://youtube.com/c/RichCooperClips

— Dr. Jordan Peterson https://www.youtube.com/user/JordanPetersonVideos

— Dr Peterson Interview...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZYQpge1W5s

— Dr Peterson Interview - 2:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMcjxSThD54

— The Martyrs of Marriage (Specially for Indians) :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKRAkw5RUdw

thedarkaquarian007 · 2021-10-05T21:06:03+00:00

Im sorry, you have to deal with your ex first before getting into a new relationship.

mrledia · 2021-10-08T18:54:39+00:00

She's not one of the kind buddy... it your STBX should not pull those stunts in order to stop you from leaving her.

Title	My STBX is going to ruin my new relationship before it actually has a chance
Author	Kingofpain84
Upvotes	14
Comments	25
Date	October 5, 2021 11:48 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/q1upuj/my_stbx_is_going_to_ruin_my_new_relationship/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/my-stbx-is-going-to-ruin-my-new-relationship.1077272 https://theredarchive.com/post/1077272

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