How do you actually stop or prevent becoming a simp?

atman714 · 2021-12-04T22:46:36+00:00

Hey OP, "simp" means almost nothing anymore. It originally was an acronym that meant "sucker idolozing mediocre pussy," and referred to like guys who worshiped and paid girls online, but now certain RP and misogynists online use it for any man who's kind to women lol.

It sounds like you have trouble with that awkward phase where you're not sure if the girl likes you back. Asking for a date is always a great way to see. If she says no, it might be a little awkward, but at least you know for sure. It's better to ask early and be proactive than to catch feelings and get hurt months later when you find out she has a significant other or views you as a friend.

ActionSage · 2021-12-04T19:45:43+00:00

You're overthinking this too hard. The girls you want to deal with (Those that want you) will give you passes for not being a social demigod. You can be open... within reason. Just know that perceived weakness will be used against you. Just don't let yourself be taken advantage of. If you're acting out of fear socially, it's most likely a problem.

minosandmedusa · 2021-12-04T23:47:40+00:00

Have your own opinions. Don't mold yourself to try to be who you think other people want you to be.

GUlysses · 2021-12-05T00:34:14+00:00

Anyone who uses the word “simp” unironically is not worth listening to.

Visible_Vermicelli_6 · 2022-01-20T19:35:42+00:00

Ah to be young with social anxiety, trust me my friend I knew that so well and had similar issues in my youth. I can tell you in time and practice, you can overcome the awkward moments with social anxiety. All this SIMP and REDPILL term stuff is new to me personally, I actually been looking into it due to playing some RUST one day and bunch of kids were bullying a neighbor due to him helping a girl over the hill from our area lol. I was like what is all this SIMP junk so decided to look into it today.

I am now in my early 40s here, looking into SIMP basically feels like the old term I used to be labeled in the 90s as a White Knight due to a crush I had so bad for an ex of mine I couldn't regain back as my girl. We ended up just friends but of course old feelings on my side would pop up and I would literally do anything she wanted, helped her with money, be a personal taxi to her but in the end...I think that period was a good thing for me in the long run.

Thing about labels and emotions, they don't fit everyone 100% and all this bashing of people for social awkwardness in my eyes seems more the bully at these people is with more issues then the people they call out. Case in point, I was also socially awkward with women and took cues from them usually further than what the girl was intending. I had such a hard time talking to women till my mid 20s. Eventually I came to a conclusion there was nothing to fear once I realized to be just myself and I have actually had many relationships since then with some really beautiful and amazing women till I finally found the one I have been with now 7 years and probably the rest of my life.

Best advise, understand your anxiety, do all you can to push yourself towards uncomfortable situations and eventually they will feel a norm and less anxiety producing in most cases. I been a musican all my life and honestly the fear of stage fright also tied very hard to my awkwardness with women. The day I finally just pushed myself to take gigs at bars and night clubs and just focused on the passion for music ended up pulling out my true nature and made so many things outside of that with people and social anxiety eventually fade away. I always tell others after I rid myself of that and gained permentent confidence in myself that we all have one inner thing we have a passion for, we focus on that and keep that alive in ourselves the rest oddly seems to fall in place in the aspects we are unsure of around us. I don't know why it works that way but seems to in most cases.

Far as all this SIMP label stuff, its a fad...seems to stem from jealousy/fears of people doing things different from themselves. I do see some sides of what is called out as a SIMP to be concerning for some people. No one should ever demand secretly an outcome for a woman and never put the honest truth of their intentions to that person. Its more unhealthy for the SIMP honestly in my opinion, outcome will just put a negative impact on themselves due to the fact they could be putting attention on someone who won't reciprocate it. The bullying about it online and misuse of the term as a bully usage to hold power over others is a bit sickening to see spread but its a fad and new terms will come and go lol. At my age trust me I seen it over and over.

I know this was long but I seen your post and it so reminded me of how I was when I was younger. Just hold out for much better for yourself, trust that anxiety can be dealt with and I promise you if you work through it, they come chasing after you and that becomes annoying as well...another problem for another post lol. Best of luck, gets better I promise always

kidOdagreat · 2021-12-05T17:15:33+00:00

You stop yourself from losing your self respect for a women (simping) by understanding the need to control your emotions.

The need to not invest before she does. Don’t chase anyone. Don’t force anything. Don’t care more then she does. Don’t show more then she does and to put yourself above her at all times

Staying away from simping requires a certain level of narcissism because you must understand women do not care about you until they develop romantic feelings for you and even then those feelings can disappear faster then they appear and it’s nothing worse then a women who USED to like you. The subtle disrespect from a women who no longer has interest in you is worse then a women who never had interest to begin with. Understand that, accept it don’t hate it, learn from it and move in a way that ONLY benefits you

(I know this will get downvotes due to some of you not liking brutal honesty. I am only trying to help)

Good luck

Exis007 · 2021-12-04T21:37:12+00:00

The pathetic thing about simping, which is kind of an imaginary word no one should use, but whatever, is when you expect something in return.

Give a friend flowers just because you thought it would brighten their day? You're a kind person. Give a girl flowers because you want her to like you so that when she dumps her boyfriend she thinks of you? That's simping. And the metric between those two is very clear to me, at least. Ask yourself: am I showing myself respect in doing this?

I am showing myself respect when I hang out with a person I might, in other circumstances date, but we can be legitimate friends and enjoy each other's company if that's not going to happen. I am disrespecting myself spending time with him to prove some point or make him like me or feel like I am above having a crush, I am not respecting my own feelings and needs. I respect myself when I do nice things and give special attention to the people I care about because I care about them. I disrespect myself when I do it in hopes they'll feed me crumbs of validation as a result, because I am better than that and validation truly comes from within.

That's the metric: self-respect. Are you putting yourself first, are you acting with integrity, are you being honest about your needs, are you motivations coming from a good place. If you can act in line with those values, it's literally impossible to simp.

HGW86 · 2021-12-04T21:44:38+00:00

First of all, I'd like to say you should be proud of yourself for being smart enough to realize the red pill is bullshit! Most guys in your situation usually falls down the rabbit hole quickly!

That being said, I'd say you'd need to first of all, hammer down the mentality that you shouldn't get smitten over a girl until you are actually dating. From my own personal experience, it's easy to fall head over heals for a lady who mere acts friendly to you and it usually leads to getting heartbroken, depressed and well, simp-y.

Another thing, even though it's totally super cliché, but treat women like they are just any other human being. You should internally treat a beautiful woman that you aren't dating the same way you would treat a 73 year old man. You don't get nervous or uncomfortable talking to an old man (at least I don't think you do!), you should try and internally and treat women the same way.

And lastly, you ought to work on building up your own self-esteem and work on having a positive self-image. This will help reduce the insecure thinking that arises when you are around your cute co-worker. It will also make you a more confident person, which is attractive!

Positive self-image will make you less intimidated around beautiful women and in turn, they will have less control over you, even if you masturbate and watch porn regularly! In my own experience, it was very helpful to me and I hope what I wrote was helpful for you!

MegusMarte1 · 2021-12-07T00:40:59+00:00

I think it’s simple, pun intended. Don’t put anyone on a pedestal. Don’t go out of your way to flatter someone with compliments or gifts if they don’t like you or don’t even see you. Don’t do stuff expecting things in return. Giving your friend or coworker a gift for her birthday or bringing her a small gift from another country you visited isn’t simping. Buying her expensive jewelry or gifts hoping she likes you for it IS simping. It’s quite simple just treat the chick you like as just another person and see where it goes from there and don’t think she’s some prize you have to try hard to win. You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone, it happens it happens and that’s that. I can’t believe how many times I’ve felt the need to try and impress a chick i had a crush on hoping she liked me back when in reality it was a fools errand because the point is really not to try at all. It’s just something that happens naturally. You gotta understand there is tons of girls out in the world, tons of really HOT girls exactly like the one chick you have a crush on and you are fawning over. Well not EXACLY like her but there is a little of something in every girl that you will find similar to this or that girl and a bunch of other things that you’ll find attractive. Point is there is no one single chick and that’s the problem with simps. They think this girl is my perfect dream girl and no one else will ever be like her. I’ve been there man, i met my “dream girl” like 2 years ago she was exactly what i had always looked for in a girl but it didn’t work out i was really sick about it but i moved on and have met plenty of girls just as hot and just as cool as she was.

Mh882130 · 2021-12-07T04:20:53+00:00

1: Do not tolerate disrespect of any kind. The more disrespect you tolerate the more your brain becomes hard wired to fall in love with it. Disrespect is subjective and based on experience temperament character and virtue. State your boundaries and consequences for disrespect and act accordingly by showing people how you want to be treated.

2: Do not tolerate any abuse of any kind. Emotional; physical, verbal, sexual. See above reason. First offends should be the last offends although emotional and verbal abuse can have a few attempts to correct.

3: Never give more than you are willing to lose and never expect any amount you give will be given back to you.

4: Realize everyone acts from good intentions only sometimes those intentions are one sided. Best to look into the psychology of users abusers and others who are essentially fully self centred so when you are around a person of this nature you can protect yourself and remove yourself from the situation.

5: Along with boundaries develop a level of standard treatment you will not tolerate in your life. This is what is meant by self respect.

These some of the very tips I use with everyone on my life having tons of experience dealing with both the female and male dark triad.

One last one would be though people do change it is rare so when the above happens best to love from afar but never fully give up on someone for you don’t know what the future has in store for you or them.

Though these may sound harsh I truly believe everyone is innately good; it is just highly negative experiences that turn someone into a twisted person.

Title	How do you actually stop or prevent becoming a simp?
Author	AppropriateCoconut92
Upvotes	3
Comments	13
Date	December 4, 2021 7:33 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/r8x7ld/how_do_you_actually_stop_or_prevent_becoming_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/how-do-you-actually-stop-or-prevent-becoming-a.1088695 https://theredarchive.com/post/1088695

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