Hi girls,

In 2022 I decided that I would permanently delete all of my Online dating profiles because, in all honesty, the apps themselves were horrible. After hundreds (if not thousands) of matches and conversations (if you could call them that) I’ve been consistently let down with the piss poor quality of men that throw themselves at me. It not only makes me feel worse about myself, but the dates I do end up going on almost always end in disaster. The men either A) put NO effort into thinking or planning dates B) show up underdressed/unclean/unlike their pictures or C) have MAJOR mental health/relationship issues and hope I’m going to fix them. This is all to say that I was/am so over OLD.

But, and there is always a but, before walking into the new year I had one last date that went really well. I knew I shouldn’t have gone because I was talking myself out of online dating but I went anyway and I had a great time. He was kind, listened well, engaged in thoughtful conversation, he planned and paid for dinner and not begrudgingly as if it were his genuine pleasure. I’m aware that if things seem too good to be true they probably are so I mean to ask, what are some effective forms of vetting that you have used to evaluate men that you have not met through mutual friends. I’ve already done some vetting of my own both in person over the course of a handful of dates and online - going through social media and such, but what are the most effective strategies that you have used to distinguish HVM from LV/NVM?