This is going to be a discombobulated mess because my thoughts are not organized and Im just typing it on my phone as I think about it.

Wife and I have been married for just under 20 years and aside from the first couple years, things have never been that great, but they weren’t that bad either, the phrase “too bad to stay, too good to leave” comes to mind.

We’ve always been able to work things out, usually me conceding and taking the blame even when I feel I shouldn’t for the sake of the marriage and my own personal peace.

The last few months have not been good, we’ve both been at each other a bit and it didn’t help that I happened upon some nasty text messages about me between her and a friend when she handed me her phone for something and they were right in my face.

I confronted her about it a couple months after the fact bc I hate conflict and it’s difficult for me to initiate an argument like that. She admitted to it and said it was her way of “coping with my shit” and made no indication that she would stop.

Fast forward to the last night which seemed to be a pretty normal day, we’ve been relatively happy with each other, no arguments, we’ve been joking around with each other most of the week, etc. I’d felt like we had turned a corner and things were on the up.

We were out running a couple quick errands and she swung by Home Depot and walked to the doorknobs and proceeded to tell me “we’re not leaving without a knob for the front door”. The knob has been sticking here and there and it admittedly needs to be replaced, I think about it when I go to the door and then it’s gone out of my mind within a few minutes.

Of course, HD had nothing that matched the set we have but I begrudgingly picked out something that would work, while making it known I wasn’t happy with the situation. We get home and I start unboxing the handle to get it setup for install in the morning (it’s dark and cold by this point) and she gets mad and asks why I would do that if I wasn’t installing it right now. I respond back that I’m just getting it out and ready, she makes some flippant comment and walks away.

Then she decides to look up a way to fix the current knob… asks me for silicone spray lubricant, which I don’t have any… and then I quip about why she’s looking up a way to fix it when she just made us get a new one.

At this point she flips her shit and starts screaming in my face and says that no matter what she does, she can’t make me happy and at some point she’s going to lose it and kill me and commit suicide… then proceeds to stare me down and say “I don’t love you anymore and we’re getting a divorce.”

This isn’t the first time she’s thrown divorce in my face… she has thrown it at me more times than I can count to get me to do what she wants and even though I know this, I give in like a pathetic little bitch and come crawling back.

Today I ignored her for the most part as Im still thoroughly pissed from the other night. I left the room when she would walk in bc I don’t want anything to do with her…

About an hour ago she walks by and make some flippant comment about how she knows she’s unbearable to be around but I don’t need to leave the room.

I ignored her and she proceeded to pack a couple bags and walked out.

At this point I think it’s most likely gone as I’m tired of being the one to give in only to be treated the same way later on.

So from those of you with experience in this… what can I expect and what are my next steps?

Update 1: it seems she’s running her mouth to people including my family and at least one friend that she walked out. I’m getting texts and phone calls from people saying “I heard, are you okay?”

Update 2: I’ve reached out to an attorney for a consult, just waiting to hear back.