I don't know what I want to say - my attorney hasn't prepped me so I think she's just kind of taking the wheel here. I'm anxious, scared, wounded. If this meeting doesn't resolve it, the result is me giving up the apartment I rented the last time she agreed to 50 / 50 in mediation. It hurts so much more, knowing I got to taste a new life - my son was so excited, my wife even helped him decorate his room. He was told he was going to live here half the time. That was months ago now.. and I haven't been able to enjoy it since.

The future is bleak if she can't agree.. I have to move back in, and I'll be there until at least next fall when we can get a court date. My gut tells me she won't let go today, and it has to be a judge - financial destruction. I feel this way, because she's never been able to let go of anything - our dogs suffered for years unable to walk, see, eat, or toilet themselves - because she couldn't let go. I think I'm in for a long ride, and starting over from nothing.