A while back, I messaged a woman who posted in a dating subreddit about how her boyfriend's choice of porn - women with a specific body type unlike hers - made her feel insecure. She talked to him about it, he tried to assure her he loved her body, and of course continued watching this porn. She mentioned wanting to "end the relationship and let him go find his person". Men in the comments tried to gaslight her that "it's just a fantasy" and women in the comments sympathized with her but gave her no actionable advice.

So I messaged her, shared this post with her: https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/psjkn1/why_you_shouldnt_stay_in_a_relationship_with_a/ that touches on men who watch porn of their physical type, and I recommended she break up with him. She replied that "he isn't porn obsessed". Uh not the point... I replied that he doesn't have to be obsessed, as long as he is putting porn above her happiness, that's reason enough.

She replied that she is sorry that "[my] experiences have traumatized [me] to think that way" and that "not everyone has the same issue with it." ...When she just made a post about how she has a major issue with it. I saw that she was in denial, wished her the best, and left it. No point in further engaging with someone who wanted to stay stuck in her unhappy relationship, and who chose to assume what I've been through to throw that "trauma" in my face. (To clarify, my ex watched porn occasionally with women who looked a lot like me - I later figured out through FDS that I was not okay with that either. No trauma, it was a learning experience. Not that this woman knew any of that).

Anyway, this woman is now posting on FDS. Maybe she's dumped the BF who wants women who look nothing like her, maybe she hasn't. Maybe she's coming to see the light. Qualified victory?

I still wish her the best and hope she's learned how to gracefully take the advice she asks for.