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Ladies, can you help me interpret these yellow/orange/red flags?

November 23, 2021
130 upvotes

I’ve been on a handful of dates with a few men. So far they’re planning fun dates and are treating me well and there are no egregious red flags (afaict). I’ve been enjoying myself while observing and gathering info…and there are a few things I’ve heard or noticed that gave me pause. These are different men:

  • when he was sharing a photo with me a couple times while at dinner, I grasped his phone without thinking to bring it closer so I could see, and I noticed he wouldn’t let go of his phone

  • he follows at least one scrotey media personality (Pewdiepie), though I don’t know who else he follows

  • he told me a close friend of his hits on women constantly. And when he could tell I was silently judging him he talked about how his friend doesn’t objectify women and is really a great guy and how they’ve been through a lot together

What do you ladies think of each of these?

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Post Information
Title Ladies, can you help me interpret these yellow/orange/red flags?
Author fogplum
Upvotes 130
Comments 35
Date November 23, 2021 3:57 AM UTC (8 months ago)
Subreddit /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/ladies-can-you-help-me-interpret-these.1087024
https://theredarchive.com/post/1087024
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/r04a65/ladies_can_you_help_me_interpret_these/
Red Pill terms in post
Comments

[–]Phoenix__Rising2018Ruthless Strategist 88 points89 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

These are multiple red flags.

I would dump him just for the phone bullshit. You don't trust me why are you with me? Bye. But really he's just hiding creepy porn.

[–]Jandi18FDS Newbie 14 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Reminds me of a time a guy I was seeing showed me something in his phone. Then a text notification in and the person called him “baby".

[–]Phoenix__Rising2018Ruthless Strategist 14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I was sitting in a car with a guy after a late date once. Too late for him to be getting text messages from anyone that wasn't either his drunk bro or a girlfriend. A text came in with her name on it while I was sitting right there. He tried to lie but the text said "When are you coming home?" He then admitted it was his fiancée who he lives with!

[–]Platipus6FDS Apprentice 156 points157 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

None of them are marriage material. Next.

[–]GlitteryMossFDS Newbie 151 points152 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Phone dude might have nudes from other women in the phone, or something else, that he does not want you to see.

Pewdiepie dude deep down agrees with scrotes and is probably one.

Friend of the slut dude admires his friend's sluttiness and wants to be like him, and probably is.

I'd block and delete and get new scrotation candidates.

[–]Suspicious_Bad_5178FDS Newbie 45 points46 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think he didn't want her to see if any notification popped up. From other women, dating apps, escorts apps, whatever

[–]europoor24Pickmeisha™️ 37 points38 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

1- is he hiding something on his phone?

3- so his friend is sleazy but because it's his bro he's a "good guy"?

[–]tuberosetearsFDS Newbie 28 points29 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Honestly I didn't even read your whole post because my rule is that if I think about going to FDS to ask about someone's behavior then it's a sign for me to block and delete.

[–]vitryolicFDS Apprentice 46 points47 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

There are no yellow and orange flags, only red flags. We want to believe that something could be less serious and just be us interpreting things wrong, because that’s how society has conditioned us to be PickMes for male benefit.

Your intuition is telling you there’s danger here. Don’t second guess yourself, when you’re instinctively trying to protect yourself. If you have to ask if something is a red flag, or to analyse a man’s actions then he’s not a HVM, no further interpretation needed, just block and delete.

[–]iheartnoodlezFDS Newbie 18 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Exactly this. If someone offered you a plate or steaming sht you'd immediately reject it. Yellow/orange flags are just teaspoons of sht in an otherwise normal-looking meal. We've been conditioned to eat sh*t little by little our entire lives. How is this okay? Reject every last bit of it.

Apologies for the crudeness but 1 tsp of sht is still sht.

[–]mashibeansFDS Apprentice 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you, was about to fucking write something like this. The fuck is yellow and orange flags? They're ALL red flags.

[–]DivineGoddess1111111FDS Newbie 89 points90 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

1 - bad sign. Probably has nudes and didn't want you to scroll.

2 - My kids love Pewdiepie so not sure what he's done. But yes, following scrotes is a very bad sign.

3 - he thinks this behaviour is OK and actually commendable. Bad sign x 100.

Block and delete all the men in your three examples.

[–]Educational_Pool_635FDS Newbie 55 points56 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

If you don't mind me saying please checkout pewdiepies channel yourself and have a talk with your kids.

[–]DivineGoddess1111111FDS Newbie 43 points44 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

My kids are actually adults. I have watched a few game walk throughs he did but years ago.

My daughter follows FDS but she likes Pewdiepie so I was curious.

[–]GlitterLoveAngelFDS Newbie 5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I’ve watched pewdiepie when I was younger and he’s definitely a huge scrote and lvm. Just check out the videos of where he bashed feminism and even degraded his own wife in a couple of videos.

[–]enchantedglowFDS Newbie 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

this, plus he's made anti-semitic "jokes", said the n-word, and promoted a nazi/white supremacist channel https://www.vox.com/2018/12/13/18136253/pewdiepie-vs-tseries-links-to-white-supremacist-alt-right-redpill

[–]GlitterLoveAngelFDS Newbie 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Definitely. And of course he blamed it on him not knowing any better and being a victim of inhabiting what others say. I still remember the amount of videos that were defending a grown man saying the n word in a fit of rage when he lost a game. I’m so sick of grown men avoiding accountability and trying to act as though they don’t know any better.

Edit:I just got through half of the article in the link you sent me and yup, he definitely wasn’t sorry. Men tell on themselves one way or another and there was even an fds post that linked an interview where men admitted that they express their true feelings and opinions of a person through their humor and even said that the whole “it’s just a joke” thing is bs and just a way to avoid accountability. When a man shows you who he is, believe him. If pewdiepie was really sorry then he wouldn’t have tried to shift the blame and act as though he was a kid who didn’t know any better and wouldn’t have continued to make the same ‘mistakes’ that he did in the past.

[–]PaunchyPilatesFDS Newbie 38 points39 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

What gave you pause? Dig deep into it. On a piece of paper, write down what was said and what you observed and how you felt. Figure out what you wish you could have said or done that you didn't and what you'd like to have seen instead.

What media and interests would please you to discover?

When you sensed he didn't want to touching his phone, what did you realize he was concerned about? What photos or texts did you think he'd be concerned for you to see?

[–]GlitterLoveAngelFDS Newbie 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

An absolute deal breaker and a sign that a man is a lvm is if they watch and are a fan of pewdiepie. He’s sexist and low value, was caught searching up the ‘barely legal teen’ category, said the n word during a live stream and of course made an apology saying that he didn’t really know better, he even degraded his wife multiple times in videos and she was unsure if she wanted to fall through with the engagement after he proposed to her (Hmm can’t think of why) and she even looked so unhappy during their wedding video. Like she was forced to put up a smile. Hell even his old editor(I think) came out and started to reveal stuff about pewdiepie/Felix(His real name) and he said that Felix and his wife had a dead bedroom which shocked Felix when he exposed him for that and still talks about how much of a loser Felix is after being fired.

Just go ahead and watch the videos pewdiepie made that hated on feminism and how he talked about women in gaming and female protagonists and you’ll see why a man who is a fan of pewdiepie is such a dealbreaker and a huge red flag.

[–]SoftritoFDS Apprentice 12 points13 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Honestly I don't like people grabbing my phone but I don't have bad things in it I just get self-conscious; probably trauma from religious nit pickers

[–]her-vagestyFDS Newbie 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Phones have so much information on them these days. I wouldn't give mine over too willingly to a guy I'd just been on a couple of dates with.

[–]PossibleCookFDS Apprentice 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah I personally wouldn’t be happy if someone just grabbed my phone out of my hand (even if I was showing them something) it seems rude.

[–]herbivorouscarnivoreFDS Newbie 57 points58 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I think you should review the FDS handbook, decide what you think, then advocate for yourself. I say this with all love and respect. One of the basics of FDS is figuring out your priorities. Asking us to interpret is a huge step backwards.

[–]europoor24Pickmeisha™️ 28 points29 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

yeah also disagree, sometimes to hone in our skills/intuition we need help and the advice of others here.

[–]ninefiveoneoneFDS Newbie 55 points56 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I disagree. I think it’s more the wrong forum. This is better for askFDS or somewhere else similar.

Everyone is at a different stage and it’s okay to need and want validation sometimes. It’s okay to wonder if our intuition makes sense and to get feedback to help us make a decision. At the end of the day it’s ours to figure out but it is not a step backwards to ask for help or advice.

[–]fogplumFDS Newbie[S] 43 points44 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I’ve never been good at trusting myself, I’m slowly getting more confident but not there yet. And I’ve learned a lot from other women’s experiences here.

[–]Suspicious_Bad_5178FDS Newbie 14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

After years of being gaslighted by everyone including myself, I like these discussions where I can validate feelings and thoughts with other women.

[–]enchantedglowFDS Newbie 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

All red flags worthy of blocking and deleting to me. It could be argued that you should give the 1st guy the benefit of doubt but men don't deserve that lol. Your first instinct is right.

[–]The_Cat_EmpressFDS Newbie 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Besides PewDiePie being just...annoying IMO...the rest are red flags.

He shouldn't be encouraging to his friends hitting on other women. (for a second I thought you said he was hitting women and my hackles raised lmao)

[–]ErikaNaumannFDS Newbie 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

What's wrong with PewDiePie? As far as I know he is married, faithful to his wife, a self made millionaire, and takes good care of himself (health and looks).

I don't follow him closely though, so maybe there is something else?

[–]Technical_Moth248FDS Newbie 8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I haven't watched him in a while so idk if he has any more recent controversies, but he has a pretty rough history. Just from memory I know he said the n word for some reason while gaming and then laughed and tried to move on, and he also had two dudes make a sign that said "d*ath to all Jews" (sorry about the weird censoring but I'm trying to not get this comment removed). Most of these big YouTube stars are LVM and he is the king.

As for his marriage he does seem loyal to her but they did wait quite a while to get married even though she was with him prior to his fame. I'm also not going to give him credit for not cheating bc that's a low bar lol.

[–]ErikaNaumannFDS Newbie 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fair enough

[–]enchantedglowFDS Newbie 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

He's made anti-semitic "jokes", said the n-word, and promoted a nazi/white supremacist channel along with other bad stuff

you can read an article about everything here: https://www.vox.com/2018/12/13/18136253/pewdiepie-vs-tseries-links-to-white-supremacist-alt-right-redpill

[–]SoftritoFDS Apprentice 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think he also blamed a female twitch streamer for being responsible for men sexually harassing her online. Idk I might be wrong since this was something I heard last year while finally scrolling through his content.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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