An "ex-friend" is going around saying that i "abused her".

goodmod · 2022-01-23T04:37:54+00:00

Here is a subreddit that provides support for victims of false accusations

DjangoJamie09 · 2022-01-23T04:27:35+00:00

She felt guilty so that's why she's spreading that. Personally, I would send her a cease and desist.

rodrigogirao · 2022-01-23T08:36:08+00:00

Lawyer up, lawyer up, lawyer up.

Frosty-Gate-8094 · 2022-01-23T07:30:16+00:00

Another false accusation that will never be counted in 2-10% statistics 'quoted' by feminists...

aknabi · 2022-01-23T11:25:05+00:00

Guys remember, when a hookup may occur call your lawyer and notary and have them come over to help close the deal.

BUTTHOLE-MAGIC · 2022-01-23T05:24:25+00:00

You need to speak to her directly. Check out the laws on recording someone without their knowledge (some states don't require notice and others require both to know). Try to sort it out with her. This shit is very common, it happened to my brother but no one believed her because everyone was at the party and she kept talking about fucking him before dragging him to his room and fucking him.

IronDragonSlayer230 · 2022-01-23T07:16:15+00:00

Why the hell would she do that.. smh

ElegantDecline · 2022-01-23T12:30:33+00:00

If she says you touched her inappropriately, you could be goin to jail for a while.

Welcome to 2022.

Do not waste time with women you don't trust 100%.

Space_Exploring7_6 · 2022-01-23T11:47:23+00:00

Lawyer and then the police!!! You ignore this, thinking that time will do the job for, and you are doomed.

Recollect evidence, messages or whatever, witness and sue this person... Whether she retracts or not, the harm to your honor/name/reputation has been done already.

This is could probably harm future relations, work opportunities and long etcetera...

Modern feminist western societies are forgiven with women, not with men. Fight back ASAP or you will regret it the rest of your life.

Proteus_Marius · 2022-01-23T05:44:47+00:00

Help me understand this one, please.

How does one describe this:

". . . first one was a "friend" of mine, we weren't that close tbh but she used to be my class mate on highschool . . . "

followed immediately by:

" . . . whatever later that night she went to sleep into my mother's room . . . "

with nary a foreshadow nor an explanation of how matters might have come to this condition?

Of course, all manner of scenarios could have played out between those statements, so I'm only asking.

anticultured · 2022-01-23T14:10:13+00:00

This sort of happened to a friend of mine in the US. It ended very badly for him. I would say find a way to protect yourself.

TheeSweeney · 2022-01-23T15:08:19+00:00

You should never find yourself in a situation where someone says they’d like to stop, and then you convince them to continue.

You both acknowledge that she did not want to continue and verbally expressed that to you, AND that she was very drunk.

Sounds like you did do something a bit sketchy.

michaelpaoli · 2022-01-23T10:15:56+00:00

ex-friend

Ah, ... I hate having those ... but sometimes necessary. Yeah, have one 'o those ... and they quite earned it ... got demoted from friend, to charity case, to ex-friend - due to their egregious an absolutely anything but friendly serious actions. But I digress.

going around saying that i "abused her"

You didn't, don't sweat it. If she's lying about you, she's also probably lying about others too - or more generally just not an honest person of high integrity. Just mostly cut her off or ignore her, and if anyone asks, simply speak the truth - simply and straight forward ... and generally keep your opinions to yourself - stating what's opinion, conjecture, etc., generally won't help. Speaking the truth generally works well. That's it. No need to go into any excessive detail. Just stick to facts.

And it'll probably blow over eventually. And the less credible she is the quicker it's likely to blow over. Also, the farther her lies are from reality, the quicker her story is to fall apart. Yeah, liars ... their stories tend to not be consistent, and have logical or other flaws - their stories will tend to unravel or fall apart over time.

Anyway, sucks, but for the most part don't worry too much about it, and it'll generally mostly go away. We read lots of horror stories where it doesn't and it f*cks up a guy's life ... sure, those happen too - but they're much more the exception than the rule. So, stick to the truth, basically ride it out ... and it'll probably turn out pretty much fine - and likely sooner rather than later ... typically fading into forgotten obscurity, or often later being disproving or most any and all evidence pointing against what she claims.

And, wouldn't hurt, if you're up for it - as relevant and legal and permissible and such, gather and save relevant evidence. E.g. record (if/as legal) or note what happened when, what relevant communications, witnesses and their statements (e.g. even to what she and/or you said after ... she may have one story right after, and hours/days laters significantly change her story, etc.). Likely won't need it, but if it becomes a bigger issue, such evidence and the like may turn out to be quite valuable.

And miscellaneous pro(?) trips:

avoid getting close to folks of low integrity, liars, etc. I don't care how friggin' hot and attractive she may be ... not worth it. Same for 'da crazy ones - e.g. paranoid, psychotic, narcissist, insane jealousy, etc. - not that all flavors of mental health issues necessarily spell trouble, but there are many areas that are much more risky - avoid like the plague.
running around talking or bragging about how many women/girls you did whatever with doesn't help your case - true or not it makes you sound like a low-life male version of a slut who talks all kinds of sh*t about women in the locker room and/or wherever. Go ahead and have your exploits or whatever ... but flapping your jaw about it etc., will mostly make one come off sounding like an ass. Also, most women aren't gonna be like, "Oh, sure, I wanna be screwed and tossed aside by that guy that's already screwed 103 women so far this year - sign me up!" ... naw, not gonna be like that. So, some reasonable discretion will generally work in your favor, and trash talking generally won't.

Edit/P.S.:

6 months ago

Uhm, and like what, now she comes up with this story? Yeah, seriously, don't sweat it. If she came up with the story and immediately or promptly went to the police and reported it - that would be quite a different matter ... but sounds like she's just makin' sh*t up about you long after the fact. And ...

friend told me that yesterday

Yeah, sounds likely not very serious. Not much credibility to folks that lack credibility and go to, e.g. social media or their friends, and make sh*t up. She's likely playing it for the attention, or sympathy, or maybe for whatever reason(s) or lack thereof, maybe she's decided she hates your guts. Let it be(come) a not-your-problem. Don't go pokin' her with a stick or annoying here, just simply state the truth, as relevant and appropriate, and not to excess - and stick with that. If it's as you say, probably about 99% chance that sh*t will just fade away.

Starforce2005 · 2022-01-23T08:29:35+00:00

At this point all I could suggest is to not get involve in relationships, until the meta changes.

bluehorserunning · 2022-01-23T13:35:59+00:00

she told you no, and instead of taking that, you pushed her.

Createdtopostthisnow · 2022-01-23T13:27:25+00:00

you questioning any woman is literally rape and ive called the police. believe all women even when they make shit up over and over or do it just for money or clout. believe all women always.

D0cGer0 · 2022-01-23T15:59:39+00:00

I think there's a lot a good advice. I would add "avoid doing that in the future".

feltentragus · 2022-01-23T16:17:32+00:00

The main thing is not to do nothing. At minimum, I'd sit down and write down my version of what happened, just so that I could be clear about it later, in the event of gaslighting.

By all means consult a lawyer. You're not bound to take their advice, and however much or little you spend, it's likely to be cheaper than the cost of ignorance. But don't flap your gums about it (or anything, in this situation) even, perhaps especially to your friends.

You want to aim for a measured response. Don't "go nuclear on her ass" and go in with all guns blazing. You want this situation to cease, not escalate.

So I would say to her, directly and ideally in front of witnesses, that you don't like her spreading lies like this, and if she continues you may choose to take it seriously.

Don't threaten her, with legal action or anything else. Equally, don't be drawn on what "taking it seriously" means. Just shrug and say you're finding the subject boring and/or leave. Hopefully this shot across the bows will be enough to deter her from this stupid and childishly vindictive behavior.

Of course, if she's too empowered to have to consider the wishes of lesser mortals (i.e. is a feminist) then she may not be smart enough to take the graceful exit you've offered her.

That's when you'll be glad you a) spoke to a lawyer and b) kept your mouth shut, because you won't be bluffing, and you'll know what to do.

And lastly, of course, following the other excellent advice in this thread: you'll remember and know better next time. These days alcohol and women go together like matches and dynamite.

(IANAL)

Title	An "ex-friend" is going around saying that i "abused her".
Author	VaqueroLibre
Upvotes	448
Comments	60
Date	January 23, 2022 4:23 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/sal08q/an_exfriend_is_going_around_saying_that_i_abused/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/an-ex-friend-is-going-around-saying-that-i-abused.1098081 https://theredarchive.com/post/1098081

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