Need some advice.

Funny_Wolverine_9 · 2022-01-31T00:24:28+00:00

Get proof she's working for cash. Hard proof, like pictures, audio of her working so you can use against her if she asks for alimony.
Plan your next steps very diligently. Talk to a lawyer. Don't tell her anything.
What were you thinking marrying a single mom?

Eve-3 · 2022-01-31T00:08:56+00:00

If the kids aren't yours you won't have to pay child support. Alimony depends on length of marriage and where you are. If she can't afford the house in her own name and nobody else will cosign for her then the house gets sold. You can always offer to give her your half of the equity immediately instead of monthly alimony payments. The alimony would be more money total but if she needs money now it could solve both your problems.

AlexFromOgish · 2022-01-31T00:27:49+00:00

Sounds to me like you’re trying to juggle a bucket of minnows without the bucket. It’s understandable and the best thing you can do when you’re all over the map like this is to see a divorce lawyer. Get an appointment at least a week out and spend the time before your appointment googling “prepare for first meeting with divorce attorney “and then do all of the things that are recommended in a number of articles. That way when you first sit down with your attorney it won’t be you all over the map while their meter runs. Try not to tell the attorney the whole story. Give him the big picture like names and ages info about money your goals. Then shut up and let the attorney ask the questions needed to fill in the blanks. The first meeting is a success if you walk out with a list of tangible questions to think about. You might not walk out with any answers in that first meeting but the questions will provide you amount to guide the next steps. Besides that make sure you’re getting enough sleep and probably start seeing a therapist. For me Over a 24 hour. Sleep is far more important than food. PS just because you get started with an divorce attorney doesn’t mean you have to stick with that person in it doesn’t mean you have to do any of the things they tell you to do. Right now you have to get a grip on your thinking or you’ll drive yourself off the cliff so that’s the first task with the attorney is to get control of your runaway thoughts

SilverknightFL · 2022-01-31T00:34:18+00:00

If she has her own shop, she's paying rent with money from somewhere. Make sure your lawyer knows that.

pegleg_legal · 2022-01-31T01:53:09+00:00

If the kids ain't yours, less to worry about.

skaelee · 2022-01-31T00:44:51+00:00

Wait you married a single mom with 4 children? 🤨 that was your first mistake and she stays on government assistance? That was your second mistake bro the red flags were all laid out for you and you still went for it ,I hope you get out of this as safely as possible but damn bro a single mom of 4 ? You couldn’t do better than that ?

darthFartb0x · 2022-01-31T01:01:14+00:00

I know I was stupid. We met and just got along so well. She got me with her story about getting pregnant in high school and the father is dead from drug overdose. I bonded with the kids quickly (except the youngest, she was difficult) and I felt for them not having any father figure. I’m dumb I know

Chip512 · 2022-01-31T02:58:12+00:00

Get a good attorney. Listen to them - they’re going to have better guidance for you in your state/county than your fellow redditors, as well intentioned as we may be.

Throwaway4120213 · 2022-01-31T07:04:56+00:00

Seriously man - single mom of four. Hell no - why would you marry someone that 99.5% of other dudes want no part of. Don’t fish at the bottom of the barrel.

Luckily - you didn’t adopt the kids and your marriage is short. Otherwise - you could’ve really been financially screwed. Go file ASAP - the biggest thing you have going for you is the short duration of this marriage so get your separation date in black and white by filing.

Next time - date single moms by all means. But cohabitating and marriage? That’s just asking to get royally screwed.

BurnDownTheMission68 · 2022-02-01T00:12:19+00:00

You’d love to give her the house?

Title	Need some advice.
Author	darthFartb0x
Upvotes	5
Comments	19
Date	January 30, 2022 11:58 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/sgmppt/need_some_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/need-some-advice.1098824 https://theredarchive.com/post/1098824

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