Due to COVID illness at my ex wife’s place I went 3 weeks without seeing my kid. During this time I found myself healing and being okay with my single life. But then this week I got him back and while it was a happy reunion, I’ve felt the flood of depression and anxiety come rushing back. I’m happy to be with this little guy but damn has the grief come back big time.

It was never suppose to be this way. We were supposed to be a family. Not 2 separate adults with a tiny human relay baton. How could she do this to us? How did I fuck up so bad to lead her to believe this is better? How do I ever become ok with this? How do I stop hating myself?