I know that high value men are rare. I've probably met less than 10 in my entire life. We often talk about red flags and what to avoid. I want to share a few real life green flags I've observed. I hope this post will serve as a reminder not to settle.

Man 1- I worked with a man maybe late 40s/ early 50s who saved 25k because he wanted to suprise his daughter with an all expenses paid trip to Europe. She had just finished college and he was excited to have finally saved up the money to surprise her with this. He did extravagant things for his daughter because he wanted her to never settle for a LVM. He asked me for safety tips that I could give his daughter with regards to travelling in Europe (because I've travelled to Europe) and wanted her to go with a female friend (all expenses covered by him) because he acknowledged his experience was different as a man in terms of safety. He was so respectful. Always assisted women with carrying heavy things, warmed their cars for them during winter and walked them to their cars if was dark because our office was in a bit of a sketchy neighbourhood. He called out men for their misogyny and wasn't afraid to express disgust at one man for having an age gap relationship. Didn't care about what other men thought of him, their opinions didn't affect his masculinity or make him feel insecure. He was the most down to earth, secure man I've ever known. This impressed me as most men are other men's b!tch*s and they always seek validation from other men. The biggest green flag was that I never got any bad or weird or uneasy gut feelings around this man which happens around 99.999% of men. I felt totally safe and at ease around him. He always spoke lovingly about his wife and daughter. You could tell he really cared about them. He was always respectful and appropriate.

Man 2 - I worked with another younger man about mid 20s who is a perfect example of "if he wanted to he would." He proposed to his gf before their two year anniversary (in my opinion 1.5 - 2.5 years is a reasonable time to propose and vet each other). He had moved to the US and didn't want to do something long distance. He wanted his gf to be his wife and move with him. This man worked 2 jobs (16 hours per day) and stepped up his weekend side hustle game because he wanted to be a good provider to his future wife and plan an amazing, memorable proposal. He carefully spent months planning out this huuuuge lavish proposal. He was so nervous and excited about it. He always talked about his SO with adoration and excitement. He did all the planning and coordinating with her family and friends for the proposal. He hired an amazing professional videographer/photographer, caterers, etc. He made sure her family and friends got her to dress up really well for a "supposed event" so that she'd look stunning in all the photos. He did it in a way that she wouldn't suspect what he was up to as he wanted it to be a genuine surprise. He coordinated all of this from a different country in his spare time despite having 2 jobs and a side hustle that kept him busy 6 days per week. He then flew to their home country to surprise her with the the proposal once he has everything coordinated. I saw the proposal video on FB and it blew my mind. Some of the footage was shot with drones. It was like something out of a movie. After, she said yes, he took her on a mini vacation to a beautiful island for a week to celebrate their engagement. They went snorkeling, scuba diving, relaxed etc. He is a provider and financed it all. He has no issue with posting his gf on social media. The couple hardly posts on social media but I noticed when he does post, they're usually cute appreciation posts of his gf. Green flag is a guy who isn't afraid to post you on social media.

Man 3 - is a relative that always tries to make his wife's life easier. Most of the stuff I'm about to point out is bare minimum but these are still green flags that I think are important and should be expected. He always stands up for her to his relatives and anyone who tries to put her down or insult her (which is very commonly done to women in his culture). When their kids were younger, his wife couldn't handle when they'd puke and he took charge of comforting and cleaning the kids when they got sick. When their kids have colds, flus, etc, he takes care of them and stays up all hours of the night to do so. He doesn't want his wife awake and stressed. He also looks after her when she's sick, makes herbal remedies, soups, takes care of cleaning and kids, etc. He's the only man I know who doesn't act like a baby when he gets sick, he handles himself. Once, the baby and the toddler were in their play room together. The wife left them for 2 mins to grab a new diaper as she smelt a diaper change due. When she came back, the kid that pooped managed to get his diaper off and the next thing you know, both kids had smeared poop all over themselves their toys, the walls. They ate some of it too. His wife was about to puke and couldn't clean it up. He took charge and cleaned the kids, got it out of their mouths, bathed them and cleaned up the room and toys. He takes the kids out to places to give his wife peace and quiet some weekends. She actually has a pretty big social life because her husband is willing to help. She goes on lots of girls nights out, lunches, teas, etc. The husband is involved in taking the children to doctor's appointments and going to parent/ teacher conferences. He's paranoid about education especially for their daughter and he spends 2-3 hours reading through her school syllabus, teaching her maths and helping with other homework after he comes home from work. He wakes up early and warms up his wife's car early in the morning and cleans the snow off for her during winter. He walks her to her to her car to make sure she's safe and doesn't slip in the snow. He helps with the cooking and he takes the initiative to do dishes and laundry. She won't touch the dishes or laundry because she does more of the cooking. He helps with cleaning the bathroom, sweeping, mopping, etc. When she brings the groceries home he takes them out of the car for her, she walks into the house and doesn't carry a thing. If she's feeling anxious about driving somewhere new, he'll drive her. These are little things but my point is that they should be expected. The gifts he buys are things that she'll use. He took her to an expensive shoe store to get a gait analysis and made sure she had a really good pair of inner soles and new shoes for her flat feet. This couple is middle class. The green flag is that the husband does what he can to make his wife's life easier. It's to be expected.

Your gut feeling should be good about a man, he should want to post you on social media and be excited to introduce you to friends and family and he should do what he can to make your life easier. These 3 above are real life examples of why you shouldn't settle. There are HVM out there. Don't settle because as one FDS user posted on here recently, settling is a death sentence. It's a death sentence to your happiness, to your soul to who you are. LVM can crush your soul and make you lose yourself entirely. So I urge you to make dating a binary situation. You can be happy with a High Value Man or you can be happy single.