I say this with a lot of love and encouragement, leaving him is in your best interest. It's better to choose the short term intense pain of leaving rather than the long term pain and regret of being deeply unhappy with this man. I think the hard part here is that you're used to him. We all get used to our partners in long term relationships. People always underestimate how scary and gut wrenching it can be to leave when you're just so used to having this person in your life. It feels like someone died when you leave. But I promise you that leaving is choosing happiness. You are only human so it is normal to feel deeply hurt and grieve this relationship. Your feelings are very valid. It is really important to understand that the pain part of the healing process and doesn't mean that you must go back to him. Before meeting this man, you probably lived many happy years without him. And you will live the rest of your years happily without him.

I know FDS advocates for the ruthless block and delete. I do agree with this but in practice, I acknowledge that it's extremely difficult in long term relationships. The feeling of being used to someone is so often underestimated. It's actually a pretty powerful pull to stay in a comfort zone and tolerate the BS. Leaving your partner and cutting them off can feel as gut wrenching as cutting off a parent or sibling. Again it's the powerful pull of being used to a person. Working towards being HV is really hard work. You just need to find the strength not to waste anymore years of your life on LVM. Your time on this earth is finite, then you're dead. That time is priceless. Don't give him anymore of it.

A question to ask yourself is do you really still love him or are you just used to him?

Sending all my fellow FDS ladies virtual hugs and love 🤗♥️