I've lost so many friends over the simple fact that I happened to ask out a woman they know that rejected me. And each time it happens it begins to make less and less sense.

It would be one thing if I ignored the refusal and acted overly close to the individual in question. That, I could actually understand. I'm sure we all know at least one example of someone who can't take no for an answer and its totally unacceptable of course. But despite the fact that I've never acted creepy with any of these women, never brought the topic up again, never even touched them, each time mutual acquaintances seem to "coincidentally" stop talking to me shortly afterward, sometimes even leading to the dissolution of entire friend circles.

Why? What's so wrong about simply being a guy that a woman happened to say "no" to? Are they afraid that I'll continue to obsess over the matter and become a creep about it? Beyond the obvious misandrist/demonizing implications there, its frankly absurd. Most of the time when I talk to these women its just like "Hey, I thought we could do something outside the (insert mutual activity here), you seem like a nice and fun person and I want to get to know you better." It's just a casual thing, not like I'm doing some crazy dramatic love confession or something like that. I literally just try to shoot my shot, forget about it, and move on with my life.

The fact that things just fall apart around me like that hurts so much because it makes me feel self-conscious, like I'm doing something socially unacceptable. I've always taken great pains to err on the side of caution regarding women, to the point of perhaps falling on the side of overly cautious, if anything. But apparently people see being merely <unrequited> as some kind of inherent threat. Its tough because it makes me more guarded about letting myself get close to people than I would wish. After all, why get close if it means you'll just lose them eventually?

Now you might say, "just stop asking women out that you meet in mutual friend circles". Fine, but you must understand that doing this is basically the same as consigning yourself to permanent loneliness. Once you reach adulthood and get a job, it starts to become a lot harder to find a relationship. If you're lucky, your work (which is where you spend most of your time) will expose you to potential partners. Even if it does though, its becoming less and less acceptable to approach people in professional settings. Or for that matter, in the gym, in the coffee shop, etc. Unless you're unrealistically exceptional in some way then you don't have a shot at online dating, so if you want something more than hookups, you'll need to meet women from social groups that have similar interests and springboard from there. But increasingly, its beginning to seem like its not acceptable to do even that anymore.

I just don't know what to do about it. Give up hope entirely and try to fill the void with plutonic camaraderie as best I can? The thing is, I don't know if that will even work. The older I get the more and more I see people my age doing the opposite: investing in romantic partners and decreasing their need for friendship.