Is this subreddit good?

NoLettuce7713 · 2022-03-30T23:00:33+00:00

There aren't that many subs focused on men's issues, and it's a constant challenge to decide whether a sub should show a "respectable" face with strong moderation, or allow more freedom of expression of different views.

This sub is more on the latter side. The relative freedom of expression in this sub is both a strength and a weakness.

At the other extreme, you've got a sub like r/menslib, which is explicitly pro-feminist and has chosen to exercise heavy moderation to prevent entertaining views associated with anti-feminism or "red pill" ideologies. Some take the view that any men's movement that doesn't exercise this sort of control will inevitably move in the direction of outright, unproductive misogyny.

Somewhere in the middle, you've got r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates, which is still critical of feminism but a little more moderated than here and with fewer outrage posts.

shit-zen-giggles · 2022-03-30T23:25:11+00:00

This sub has deliberately adopted a rather "hands off" moderation policy because all the other subs that 'discuss' gendered issues are feminist echochambers and thus discuss stands in quotes.

There is a lot of trash and low effort posts and quite a bit of harshness, but that unavoidable with this moderation policy.

if you want a 'cleaner' place: /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates

PQKN051502 · 2022-03-30T23:23:47+00:00

I am a gay man here as well. There are also trans men on this subreddit.

Just go around and check out posts to find out. I have some posts in this sub as well. Go check them out.

We care about men and we are anti-misandry.

TrilIias · 2022-03-31T00:15:13+00:00

I'm gay as well. Like most political subreddits it's a bit of a mix. You get some extremists and you also get a lot of reasonable people with well thought out ideas. I will say that this subreddit used to have a higher quality to it, but recently there were some incel subreddits that were banned, and a lot of the people from those flocked here. It's kinda the inevitable result of feminists and mainstream media insisting that MRAs are allied with incels. If you keep telling incels that they are just like MRAs, even if it isn't true, then f course those incels will expect to be welcomed by MRAs. I'll add that it's been a few months since the subreddits were banned, and I've noticed the incel comments have been occurring less frequently over time.

I don't want to give the impression that I want to push the incels away, if anything we should take advantage of our opportunity to maybe talk some people off the ledge, even if they really don't want to be talked down.

This subreddit certainly isn't lacking in people who take the MRM seriously and have important ideas to contribute. Two of my favorite redditors on this subreddit are u/Oncefa2 and u/lightning_palm. You may be interested in some of their posts.

GulchDale · 2022-03-30T22:46:06+00:00

If you're looking for an echo chamber of people you agree with 100% of time, you're in the wrong place bud. Everyone is free to express themselves as long as it isn't hateful or violent. Some see this as a problem, but it'll hone you're critical thinking skills.

AirSailer · 2022-03-30T23:35:24+00:00

Considering there are feminists who are actively masquerading as MRA and posting hateful comments in the pro-male subs it's easy to say that MRA in general is full of hate IF one wants to believe there is a grand conspiracy (by men) to keep women down in a society that openly falls all over itself to shit on men and pedestalize women. Meanwhile pro-feminist subs that are blatantly hateful towards men are allowed to persist with the support of a majority of the Reddit mods. So sure, complain about men being hateful on Reddit, it's probably better for you to live with your head in the sand... Just hope you never have a son... And feel secure there are some of us fighting for him, even if you won't.

nineteenletterslong_ · 2022-03-30T23:58:41+00:00

what's even the point of these posts and why does this kind of concern only arise here (at least in this format)? surely there must be other problematic subs. edit: i said post instead of point

Miclash013 · 2022-03-30T22:37:08+00:00

Like most subs, you have to pick through the trash to truly find what the sub is actually about. And deep down, I think this sub truly wants to make men have a better experience in life and to not be laid low by other movements. But there of course are the radicals, the trolls, the misguided souls. But at the heart we all want something better for men. The important question we all want answered is "how?"

MiddleReasonable647 · 2022-03-30T23:38:29+00:00

This sub allows diversity of opinion. Imagine that….

CreeperCooper · 2022-03-30T23:20:26+00:00

You are not crazy for thinking this subreddit can be... problematic.

I've been on this subreddit for a while. I unsubbed a year ago or so, because this subreddit can be very toxic and I didn't feel like these discussions are actually achieving anything. I've over 700 comment karma on this subreddit, which isn't much, but it at least shows I've discussed stuff here. I still lurk here once a month or so, just to see how the sub is doing.

Sometimes this subreddit has great takes.
Sometimes this subreddit drowns itself in self victimization and toxicity.

I think a lot of men here have the right idea, in general at least. Trying to think critically about the role men play in society, how we can improve society for men, supporting each other, etc.
But it has problems, as well. There is hate against women, there is hate against feminism, and the hate can get real bad. Mens Rights, the movement, already has a bad image sadly, and this subreddit has contributed to that bad image as well.

I haven't found a subreddit or online discussion forum that's actually healthy about this, though, which is pretty depressive. That's why I come back to here sometimes, trying to reduce toxicity a bit. But often I do leave disappointed.

I unsubbed here because a lot of people (but not all!) here are angry and emotional (which I totally get, but it makes activism and actually developing rational and critical literature on this subject nearly impossible!). Besides that, a lot of the posts here is reacting to rather irrelevant shit. The top posts are images about shitty journalists writing shitty articles that nobody in the real world cares about, or fringe cases about women doing shitty things.
But that's not actually doing anything. It's just outrage porn.

It's not all bad, like this subreddit has a proactive agenda on intactivism (activism against circumcision/male genital mutilation ). People have posted resources about that, provided great arguments you can use, provided theories that are actually very critical and rational, etc. And it's one of the few things I really like about this subreddit. It mirrors the 'my body, my choice' movement feminists did and they were relatively successful in that.

I do return to here because it is one of the few spaces dedicated to discussing these problems specifically, and it's very important that these spaces exists. But it does feel like a lot of the discussions here feel very... immature? Like, don't bother talking about 'toxic masculinity', because some people will try to make the discussion descent into the semantics of the concept and not about what it's trying to say and how we could deal with it. Don't bother saying anything positive about feminism, because a lot of people here think feminism was invented by the devil and wants to oppress us, or something.

So, TLDR; it can be good, it can be bad. I think there is a lot of room for growth and maturing. I don't know if it will ever do that, though.

I don't care if I get downvoted or banned, lol. We need to be a LOT more critical about the things we say and the hate we spread, because otherwise the rights of men will not improve and the idea that we should focus more on the problems of men will stay irrelevant to society.

To be fair though: I call myself a feminist, enjoy feminist discourse, and the /r/feminism subreddit is nearly as much as a dumpster fire as this one. I think Reddit pretty sucks for these kinds of discussions.

Billy-Batdorf · 2022-03-31T01:47:44+00:00

This sub is bad but not because of "Misogyny". The users here are simply not interested in Men's Rights. The undeniable proof is present in what's popular here: outrage threads and calling out hypocrisy. The only threads that achieve mass approval are outrage threads about older women sleeping with teenagers or other criminal cases where everyone wants collective revenge on female criminals. When you've seen the 1000th case of 'durr isn't this a double standard?' without any effort to protest you just realize it's a waste of time.

Meanwhile, you'll often find that activist posts from actual MRAs (Activists for Rights), even when stickied to the top of the subreddit, have very few upvotes, little engagement, and no activism.: reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/q8idrc/update_nz_human_rights_commission_responds_to_my/

The threads by this poster and other stickied threads received less upvotes than a thread where some POS declared that women shouldn't have the right to abortion without a Man's say-so: reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/q8idrc/update_nz_human_rights_commission_responds_to_my/

Note: the mods only removed it after a full day because it's obviously embarassing, but it received almost 600 upvotes and tons of idiots supported it.

Compare this to intactivists, much, much smaller, yet far more serious about messaging, purpose, and rights.

My problem with the leftist men's subs is that they're a lot like leftist subs : crying about theory and feelings while ignoring the ugly reality of working class men + creepy, controlling moderators.

Real life is the hard part. There are no Men's political parties, very few places you can even volunteer. But definitely If you want to help Men you probably won't do it here.

Kindly-Town · 2022-03-31T08:57:53+00:00

If your definition of misogyny is criticising hateful propaganda of feminism against men, then you are not here in the good faith of the discourse.

Due-Slice-3685 · 2022-03-30T22:40:42+00:00

Honestly I'd say 50/50

tfwnonamesforme · 2022-03-31T02:35:59+00:00

Get out. You're not wanted here op

Substantial-Bee-3392 · 2022-03-31T17:27:51+00:00

I think you're in the wrong place. As a guy, I am horrified at the incredibly misogynistic questions & comments I see. While there are valid viewpoints expressed, many simply show a high level of cluelessness, defensiveness and blatant sexism against women. I'd rather be part of the solution than part of the problem.

ASexualSloth · 2022-03-31T19:26:20+00:00

It take depends on your personal definition of misogyny.

Legitimate hate against someone because of their genitalia? That's obviously not a good thing.

Calling out bad things women do, or ways that the system benefits women at the cost of men? If you consider such things misogyny, you might have a hard time here.

Title	Is this subreddit good?
Author	wolfswift23
Upvotes	0
Comments	24
Date	March 30, 2022 10:28 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/tsl1bu/is_this_subreddit_good/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/is-this-subreddit-good.1109365 https://theredarchive.com/post/1109365

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