My partner and I were together for 10 years. We got together when we were both still kids. A few months ago she had an affair, and left. At this point, I'm so glad she did. The fog is gone and I've realized how awful I was letting myself be treated. So while adjusting has been really hard, the more time passes the happier I am that it happened.

My biggest hang up right now though is dating. I'm absolutely not ready for anything serious, and I definitely don't know if I ever will be honestly. I've been happy and excited about casual dates and just meeting people though.

That is, until I had a few dates, that I really enjoyed and I thought went great. Only to get ghosted. Finally my most recent date, I was actually just told. 'You're really sweet, and funny, and nice. But I didn't feel like you wanted me at all, like you were trying to flirt at all, or had any real interest' I looked back on the other dates I had too, and realized they were right. I mean I was absolutely into them but.

I just realized. It's like a mix between, part of my brain is still seeing other women as just friends, and treating them that way even if that is absolutely not how i feel. More so, I started dating my ex at 15. So all of my flirting or anything of the sort, was learned and developed in context to them. So now, being single. I'm realizing that I have no clue what I'm doing. Big blow to my otherwise pretty stellar confidence.

I don't know that anyone can help. Or that there is any advice to give. I just, wanted to vent about it. In a place where hopefully someone has been through the same.