My separated wife won't share custody of our son with me. Other than getting a lawyer what else can I do?

Invictus_44 · 2022-04-12T22:41:02+00:00

Get a lawyer

GulchDale · 2022-04-12T22:42:02+00:00

Stay out of trouble, hold down a job, say as little as possible, don't antagonize your ex.

OldEgalitarianMRA · 2022-04-12T23:21:22+00:00

I'm not a lawyer but it is no secret that when you go to court the existing custody arrangement will be seen as default. This means the longer you go without seeing your son you are setting a precedent and she can say you're not involved. Plus it's very bad for your son to be removed from you.

Borrow money from your family for a retainer on an attorney.

thetruegardenhobbit · 2022-04-13T00:37:05+00:00

Get a lawyer and get everything in writing. Currently dealing with same shit, best of luck

WeEatBabies · 2022-04-12T23:50:09+00:00

Record every conversation you have with her.

Upload immediately to the cloud.

Start a diary.

Stop drinking.

Make sure you have a place ready with a spare room for your son.

Invest in the stock market for the long term.

BowForThanos · 2022-04-13T01:49:29+00:00

Police

AndyBrown65 · 2022-04-13T03:07:59+00:00

Get a lawyer. Make sure it's a female lawyer, find the bitchiest one around who will know all her tricks.

Talk to the cops, who will naturally take her side, but at least they can do a welfare check on him.

I assume the kid is young? One bloke setup an email account for his son and would write him a heap of emails so that his son would have a record of how much he loved him. Then was going to give him the password on his 18th.

Record everything, do not make jokes or flippant comments, or threats. Remember when you raped your ex wife? No? Yep, get prepared for false allegations, or exaggerated claims/allegations. If and when the cops "ask you to pop into the station", BRING A LAWYER, SAY NOTHING

Drogers00 · 2022-04-13T02:04:22+00:00

Get a lawyer and file for an emergency temporary custody order, do that asap

GivePuppiesBazookas · 2022-04-13T14:16:17+00:00

Get a lawyer first and foremost, and do everything you can in the best way possible as it pertains to the custody order. Do NOT skip any visitation even if you know you won't get your kiddo. You HAVE TO try. If you don't a court will hold that against you. So even if the odds are stacked against you, you have to at least go through the motions to see your son so the court can not hold inaction against you.

I had a friend go though something like this, the mother moved the child from TX to CA without his consent, which is a big no-non in TX as you can't move the kid out of the county. For about 6 months he still went to her place here to pick up his kid and documented it each time. Long story short, the mother was forced to move back to TX and his visitation time was not changed and she got in no trouble, but the court assigned a social worker to enforce the visitation (they picked and and dropped the kid off between the parents). Sad but happy, all he got was the original court order enforced, but he gets his kid 2 weekends a month now instead of fighting tooth and nail for one. And it was because he showed the court undeniable proof he was still trying and following the court order himself.

But again, Lawyer first.

hendrixski · 2022-04-13T06:06:00+00:00

Forcefully take 50/50 custody time and document that your son is spending 50% of his nights with you.

If she's stopping you then document how she's alienating your son. Alienation is a form of child abuse. You probably don't know how to document abuse because they don't teach men how to do this. So get a psychologist ASAP, tell them every mean thing she says to you and how it makes you do things that she wants against your will... and make sure they take notes because you WILL use those as a doctor's note. When you record her saying that your son can't see you immediately write about that video in a journal or in an evidentiary affidavit (e.g. if you don't have a journal then get your note timestamped by a notary). Don't move the video file around a bunch of times because you'll have to prove a "chain of custody". Upload it once, and write about that upload in your journal.

Don't wait for a lawyer. Take this evidence to a family court and ask the clerk for "emergency temporary orders". They'll have a judge see you in their chambers at their next availability. Bring a sandwich and a book because you may be waiting for a while. THEN record/document her has she violates the temporary orders and win full custody of your son.

mantools · 2022-04-13T13:00:43+00:00

Get a lawyer and petition the court for parental responsibilities immediately. In most states, parental kidnapping only applies if there's a court order in place. So, file ASAP. Good luck.

Mission_Paramount · 2022-04-13T13:11:08+00:00

Sh!7 I should have done when my wife left.

Get a lawyer
Unless an email directly relates to the kids, leave it alone do an answer it.
Log every interaction, between your and your ex and ex's family
Once you have and agreement either in court or mediation, file for Divorce as soon as you can. Borrow if you have to.
Remember nobody in the court system is on your side.
Talk to a councilor, your going through a lot this will help.

nevermock · 2022-04-13T01:01:20+00:00

Collect as much data on her s you can. Be ready to price she a sleeze. You might be able to lettuce she a cheater.

optionoblivion2 · 2022-04-13T09:04:54+00:00

I have the same issue but with 2 kids, 2.5 year old and 2 months old. Only get to see my first child 4 hours a week and the 2nd child never

springy · 2022-04-13T10:43:05+00:00

There is almost nothing you can do. Women are rarely held accountable for their actions, unfortunately. It is extremely common for women to play the victim, claiming she and the child are victims of your abuse. The blunt reality is the the legal system is based around protecting "women and children first" even if it means sacrificing men in the process. At this point, you are seen by your wife and her lawyers, and to a large extent the legal system, as just a walking wallet. You need a lawyer, or you will be screwed.

SuninMyPalm · 2022-04-13T04:02:42+00:00

call the cops for kidnapping

3-1-3-mamma · 2022-04-13T03:07:49+00:00

Call cousin Vito.

mykoiy · 2022-04-13T10:51:33+00:00

Your wife probably already manipulated your son against you.

AlienAmerican1 · 2022-04-13T16:22:24+00:00

Try and get 100% custody.

FastidiousFalcon · 2022-04-13T03:22:29+00:00

I would work on a split parenting custody arrangement on your own, figure out all the details, and I mean every last detail. Be prepared then to present to the court when you see them to press for 50-50 joint custody.
Be prepared for any of the questions from a court mediator or even worse a psych eval. They will ask stuff like, “so what is your sons favorite color, food, book, friend(s),shoe size, pants/shirt size, etc”. in order try and catch you (saying your wife knows your child better than you and therefore should receive 100% custody). It’s a nightmare but there is light at the end of the tunnel!

DecimatingDarkDeceit · 2022-04-13T12:25:38+00:00

Always / Whenever see you son; do tell him; you care about him and support him. Let him know you are on his side

Daveycracky · 2022-04-13T17:03:02+00:00

Woof. Tough spot. There’s a lot of great and to the point advice in here. Some I wouldn’t agree with.

First and foremost, secure a lawyer, as best you can. Even without knowing any personal or situational details, it is a guarantee that you are staring a tsunami in the face. The advice to stop drinking, secure or maintain a stable job, and avoid at all costs violence or losing your shit in any way, cannot be overstated. One drunk text is all it will take to set you back immeasurably. Record and document anything and everything. The lawyer will go over these in detail. It isn’t fair, but the reality is that the cards are heavily stacked against you, and you have to be precise, calm and cool at all times.

While there may well be a reasonable argument to going on the offensive, I don’t agree. As my divorce lawyer advised, against friends and family advice, anything short of her showing up with a needle hanging in her arm won’t change much. Your energies are better spent on taking a high road. Aside from that, this woman will be in your life forever, like it or not. The child will see everything, and forget nothing. They’ll see, and resent who’s talking shit about who. They’ll see in their own who’s the stable one, and whose spiteful and vengeful. Even if for a while they believe the crap they’re flooded with, they also grow in awareness. Let her hang herself, and don’t do the same.

There is also the possibility that after this wave of hostility and craziness settles down over time, that you and this woman can have separate but respectable relations in regards to the child. Might be hard to imagine now, but again, you will still have to interact and negotiate for many years to come. Protect yourself now, plan for the future, and for heaven sake.. keep your shit together. It won’t be easy, but it’s worth it.

Good luck brother.

crusadingRABBIT · 2022-04-13T17:10:19+00:00

Get a lawyer.

When I went through this the one thing my lawyer always said to me was, if you can’t say it in one or two sentences then don’t say it.

Your at a disadvantage already just because your a guy. It’s an uphill fight.

Keep your cool

RECORD AND DOCUMENT EVERYTHING

And keep your mouth shut and don’t argue. Say you disagree and be done with whatever it is your arguing about

ExtensionWalrus5 · 2022-04-15T13:59:31+00:00

Sorry but your best bet is to get a lawyer asap.

Title	My separated wife won't share custody of our son with me. Other than getting a lawyer what else can I do?
Author	Fun-Possible7676
Upvotes	100
Comments	34
Date	April 12, 2022 10:39 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/u2bb20/my_separated_wife_wont_share_custody_of_our_son/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/my-separated-wife-wont-share-custody-of-our-son.1112899 https://theredarchive.com/post/1112899

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