LOL. So partly my fault for not being on top of stuff. But works out in my favor I believe in the end. I got a random email that the joint VISA credit limit had been increased. I never approved that and she didn't talk to me about it.

So I go through all the accounts:

-she increased the max on the joint VISA from $14k to $16.5k. Card is maxed out and over drawn

-the visa had $7k available at the start of February

-she withdrew a cashiers check for $7500 (no idea where that cash went, I assume to open a new account in her name)

-she withdrew $20k from our personal line of credit. Was at zero in Feb. Now maxed out and overdrawn.

-i have been depositing $8k/mo into the joint account. Which is only spent by her (some communal bills are paid as well). I've deposited about $28k into the account from Feb to April.

So she has created $30k of new debt between Feb and April. I did not know or give permission for any of that. And she had access to $58k for the past three months. And her lawyers and her are now asking for $13k per month of temporary support, stating that she is incapable of working and asking for $10k to cover her legal fees 🙄

I'm not agreeing to shit. Have a hearing May 12th. Will let the courts decide. Never know what the courts will say but from my POV she's in violation of the temporary financial restraining order (comes standard when file in WA), all the new debt is 100% on her. And $13k/mo is insane. Hell I was being overly generous with $8k/mo, which is one of the reasons I wasn't checking all the accounts.

Crazy BS, but in the end I'm happy. Now instead of 'he said vs she said', I've got some hard numbers to present. My lawyer thinks the courts are not likely to increase the amount, but might have me cover her legal fees (for which I'm going to ask to either be repaid when we sell the house or given a credit for future support).

I knew she would ask for the moon and stars, but I really didn't think she would run up this much debt or cash out / cashiers check. She's been dragging her feet on the home sale, have mediation June 13th. But extremely unlikely that's going to be useful. Which sucks because court date isn't until Jan 3rd 2023 (and us likely to get pushed back). I'm going to try to request binding arbitration ASAP.

Will see what happens 👍🤑