Could seeing an escort be a good idea for me?

beathedealer · 2022-06-02T20:37:30+00:00

Read this.

https://www.salon.com/2019/06/01/i-lost-my-virginity-at-37-what-a-trip-to-the-bunny-ranch-really-taught-me/

MelodiousTones · 2022-06-02T14:32:48+00:00

An escort to whom you explain this situation could work with you to develop confidence sexually and on your relationship skills also. Many sex workers tend to the emotional needs of their clients and have long term arrangements with them.

It might help you to get over your obsession with sex also, you may discover it’s not such a big deal.

I would be really honest and upfront about all of what you say in your post with a potential escort and make sure she is able to provide the right service to you.

You don’t have to tell anyone.

Newbie1955 · 2022-06-02T15:14:08+00:00

I second everything MelodiousTones said. Escorts are literally pros at dealing with emotional issues, and in our culture we wrap a lot of meaning and validation and messy emotions in with sex. Part of this is natural, but I feel like we put too much self-value in it. I've chatted with a few escorts, and they pretty much sum up their jobs with "we get hired for an hour. What do you think we do for the other 45 minutes?" They talk. They cuddle. They listen to his problems and what his day has been like. They're just... there. Paying attention.

It doesn't sound like you have really negative views on escorts or any level of hatred for them. They're providing a service, and it's their job, and that's how you are talking about them and that's a healthy mindset to have. So long as prostitution doesn't conflict with your personal value system (like your religion or just personal values), then I don't think hiring an escort will be damaging to your psyche. They're just people providing a service. Like the other poster said, just be very honest and respectful, and she will be happy to make your first time a positive experience.

It will help you get over the pressure to have sex, and alleviate the mental burden of being a virgin and all the negative associations you've tied to that. But, if what you are dealing with more along the lines of social anxiety, then this will not fix it. You won't suddenly become more confident--you'll just find something else to obsess over. But--that in and of itself can be useful, if you recognize that it's happened. Best wishes.

nightmar3gasm · 2022-06-02T15:21:36+00:00

There is a sub for sexworkers on Reddit. You could always ask for advice there if you’re concerned about the ethical part.

I’ve read some really wholesome stories there, for example a guy who just like you wanted to lose his virginity and went to an escort but was so nervous that it didn’t work out, and he made a post about it. A lot of escorts gave him advice and comforted him. He then made a follow up post to say he went to the same escort again and felt more comfortable this time, and had sex, and he thanked all of them. The escorts commenting where legit so happy for him. I really thought that was so wholesome.

Personally I’m a very open minded sex positive person and I wouldn’t mind of my boyfriend had payed an escort in the past. But there definitely are women who will not respect you for it (don’t understand why myself). If you’re drawn to more conservative girls for example chances are she will take offence. So that is definitely something to keep in mind.

Also you’re only 20. And definitely taking in account that the world has been in lockdown for so long it’s not at all weird or shameful to not have any sexual experience. (Imo it’s not weird or shameful at any age)

I have had a boyfriend who lost his virginity to me while I was a lot more experienced and it never was a problem.

Gaddammitkyle · 2022-06-09T03:22:57+00:00

Escorts look down on men who hire them. They think they're losers. If you've ever listened to Megan Thee Stallion or Cardi B, I'm pretty sure you'll get why you shouldnt.

xvszero · 2022-06-02T16:53:53+00:00

I don't know where you live but if you do decide to do it, I would travel to somewhere where it is legal as opposed to just doing it where you are and risking a criminal record over it.

As for the rest, morally I don't think it is any better or worse than a lot of things people do. But I think #7 is something to think about. I'd change "some" to "most" women would dislike the idea that you had sex with an escort, and of course you could keep it a secret, but relationships built on secrets are rarely a good idea.

difficultconcept · 2022-06-02T16:39:02+00:00

No.

It might be illegal where you live.
What will you do if your future girlfriend/fiance/wife asks you if you have ever had sex with a sex worker? I can tell you that most women are not okay with their SO treating women as sexual objects.
Most sex workers are victims of human trafficking, domestic abuse, rape, or have addiction problems—even the "independent" ones.
You are not helping sex workers by paying for sex. You're funding human traffickers and drug traffickers and helping them expand their "business" and exploit even more vulnerable women.

If you have any questions feel free to ask.

thrwwayguy · 2022-06-02T17:57:20+00:00

Don't go to a sex worker. It will ruin your brains reward system when it comes to dating. It's a waste of money and easy unfulfilling sex is not a good pattern to get into trust me.

If you want advice that will really help you and not just someone reinforcing their own ideals to make themselves feel righteous, check out r/nofap and search for post on escorts.

Sex isn't that important and not worth ruining your finances, your reputation, and potentially your criminal record depending on the country you're in.

freerossulbrich · 2022-06-03T04:33:04+00:00

I would suggest sugar babies and I would suggest hand job. In fact, you should never need marriage or romance.

Transactional relationship works best on all area involved?

WestAtmosphere · 2022-06-02T16:39:22+00:00

It's good you are reflecting and tbh I feel like #7 will be a big one assuming you tell the truth or she finds out. Just like how the majority of men would probably not date a sex worker, many women wouldn't be ok with a guy who has been to sex worker even if it was once.

I'm just saying this as a woman who has limited amount of sexual partners, someone more experienced than me may have 0 problem with this.

lipstickdiet · 2022-06-03T06:33:52+00:00

r/askanescort

Slight_Fig5187 · 2022-06-03T12:30:23+00:00

I think if you choose wisely a woman who's in this job because she has chosen it and not because she's forced to, it could be a not entirely bad idea, if it's legal at your age in your country. On the other hand, you're very young still and have plenty of time to find a woman you could have your first time with.

There's a lovely film called "The sessions" about a sex therapist (in the sense of sex worker) and her customers. I wish the idea of a sex therapist were more accepted and widespread.

https://m.imdb.com/title/tt1866249/

Title	Could seeing an escort be a good idea for me?
Author	50246439
Upvotes	15
Comments	120
Date	June 2, 2022 2:26 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/v3a2wm/could_seeing_an_escort_be_a_good_idea_for_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/could-seeing-an-escort-be-a-good-idea-for-me.1117552 https://theredarchive.com/post/1117552

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