Interesting discussion on the difference between Introverted men, and boring men.

flakybottom · 2022-05-29T02:30:38+00:00

In my experience you can't really change personality, just mask it. I always come off as robotic when I try to socialize, no matter what I do.

PutsWomenOnPedestal · 2022-05-29T03:09:22+00:00

You are not the only one. I was exactly like this for most of my life. I still am to some extent. Every social interaction was incredibly painful, especially because of my stutter. I can never be one of the slick talkers who seem so common in corporate environments, but all I can do is try to not sound completely awkward.

Kappador66 · 2022-05-29T16:17:42+00:00

Being introverted does not equal being shy, timid or socially awkward, let alone having autism, social anxiety or depression.

That being said, if you are shy or anxious or even have mental health issues that is deeply unattractive. Especially for men.

How much this is fixable really depends on the individual. You can't make someone neurotypical and even things like anxiety or depression are not always successfully treatable.

bubi1234 · 2022-05-29T02:46:17+00:00

Robotic or shy behaviour and some of the other behaviours you describe could stem from insecureties. And on this you can work on.

hippy_speed_ball · 2022-05-29T13:33:12+00:00

While learning about and following social conventions is important, I
don't think that it really addresses the main issue. Following social
rules doesn't make an unfunny person more funny or a boring person more
interesting.

Comedy comes from understanding social conventions and breaking them at the right time in the right way. Learning to understand social norms so you can tell what is awkward in a "I should be embarassed" or in an "I can turn this into a joke" way is incredibly helpful to people on the autism spectrum.

I'm on the autism spectrum. I also have anxiety, looping thoughts, and periodic depression. I can be really awkward sometimes. My brain often tries to punish me for fucking up social ques, but I can still be funny and charming sometimes too.

I ordered Dairy Queen today, got the
10-dollar 6-piece chicken strip basket with the buttered toast and
fries. When in the drive thru I thought he said "Would you like anything
else with that?", and I replied "No, that will be all". There was stunned silence, and the guy was really confused, turned out he said "What sauce would you like with that?".

That's like nothing to be ashamed about. That's a normal and funny mistake. You could have laughed that off or made a joke. Something like, "Oh you don't have 'no, that will be all' sauce. I'll take honey mustard then."

I swear every interaction I have with others is incredibly awkward, in a
way it's a gift, can I change this at 24? It's just who I am.

You can't change who you are, but no one is asking you to do that. Learning to lighten up a bit and not worry so much, and try cracking a joke in those situations isn't fundamentally changing yourself.

The goal isn't to do a complete 180 degree turn. It's to push yourself to grow as a person. All of us, even you, are growing and changing all the time. People are suggesting you direct that change a little bit, not go from a guy feels embarrassed at the smallest social transgression to a smooth talker.

oeuf_fume · 2022-05-29T19:34:11+00:00

truly boring men are better providers. they're not autists, they relate well to others, they're just highly conventional people.

as such they are more likely than introverts to have well paid jobs that depend on networking with other boring men. they may, for instance, play a lot of golf.

nightmar3gasm · 2022-05-29T23:31:23+00:00

I used to have a lot of social anxiety and I more or less grew out of it. At a certain point I just decide to embrace my awkwardness instead of fighting it and ironically enough I have become a lot more sociable since then. Whenever a situation happens like your drive through one I just laugh it off. It’s just me being me again.

vcreativ · 2022-05-30T09:25:57+00:00

It's not so much about changing your personality. But rather about unlocking and unblocking what's already present.

If you're doing something that you don't like doing, but you cannot stop, then you should find out why that is. If you remove the underlying emotional reason through trauma work, the neurotic behaviour will go away. In a nutshell.

But most people don't have this soft approach to their selves. They try to force themselves to behave simply differently. Even if this works for a moment, this isn't long-term sustainable. You wouldn't run a marathon on a limp. Nor would you cognitively attempt to process every muscle twitch in detail at all times. You simply aren't able to.

I'd say don't focus on changing your personality. Leave your personality work to the subconscious, it's way too complex for your front-desk to handle. Focus your cognitive efforts on exploring why you are the way that you are, and sprinkle a few slightly scary experiences in there.

Thereby you're signalling to your subconscious that there's room to develop into, and that you're ready for some of the deep-seated issues you have to be processed. Trauma is basically a queue of emotions that were too difficult to process at the time (usually that means "not immediately relevant to short-term survival"). As this queue builds up, more and more energy is spent keeping you reasonably functional in every day life.

This illusion will gain a few cracks over time. And these cracks will usually show the clearest around relationships since it requires an independent player.

DarkusHydranoid · 2022-05-30T23:04:45+00:00

Bro you misheard him, that's it.

Nothing wrong with admitting mistakes.

You could've just said: "Oh I'm sorry, I misheard you.".

Literally no big deal.

On the bright side you have some self awareness and this means you can look at stuff you want to improve, on the long road that is life.

Title	Interesting discussion on the difference between Introverted men, and boring men.
Author	Pomeranian111
Upvotes	6
Comments	17
Date	May 29, 2022 2:12 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/v01itp/interesting_discussion_on_the_difference_between/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/interesting-discussion-on-the-difference-between.1118193 https://theredarchive.com/post/1118193

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