There’s a reason why no branch of the US military has officers start as Captain…because being a Captain is earned.

Muriana_of · 2022-07-13T03:34:25+00:00

Basically- find better dudes. You can’t polish a turd.

2022-07-13T12:02:49+00:00

My husband and I got together when we were in our mid 20s. We both came from families that provided bad role models for relationships. His parents had a contentious divorce where his mother took the kids and ran to a different state in the middle of the night. My parents remain married with a nagging wife /passive aggressive husband dynamic.

We fought a lot. If I told my story on RPW, I'm confident that I would have been told that I should leave.

Over time we matured and figured some things out. I stopped questioning everything he suggested. He stopped walking on eggshells that I was going to pack a bag and disappear one day. And things are really good now.

There are always going to be unfixable situations. My issue with posts like this are that you can't know what those are from a one sided snapshot in time story. (Let's exclude the very obvious cases of "he hits me" and the like). Isn't it better to give the OP all the tools and allow her the agency to chose the best ones.

jtriangle · 2022-07-13T01:11:51+00:00

I get your point of "don't give yourself to someone who doesn't reciprocate", but, understand that, often in a healthy relationship, people play off one another, and there are certainly times when you need to control how you act in order to receive the outcome you desire.

Put in a very simple way, if you run around town in a miniskirt and a bikini top, you'll be treated as someone running around town in a miniskirt and a bikini top. If that is not the outcome that you desire, you must change your behavior to match your desired outcome.

The same is true for men, if they're running around town in a dirty t-shirt and cargo shorts, they're going to get treated like someone wearing a dirty t-shirt and cargo shorts. If that's not the outcome they desire, they too must change their behavior to match their desired outcome.

Identifying and avoiding abusive relationships is a separate, and I think more important, endeavor. The process of self-actualization, if kept in good practice, will allow you to defacto avoid those relationships, because if you know what you are worth, and have managed to form your understanding of self value intrinsically instead of extrinsically, someone who treats you as less than that will be repulsive to you.

titlejunk · 2022-07-13T02:25:02+00:00

We are not allowed to say “leave him”.

All we can do is offer suggestions that may or may not help.

You are absolutely right though. No amount of polishing could put a shine on some of the turds we read about.

LateralThinker13 · 2022-07-13T14:24:58+00:00

Sigh. On the one hand, I agree. On the other, you're completely wrong.

First, the agreement.

Taking any man off the street, slapping a Captain’s shoulder boards on him, giving him an officer’s pay and honors without him proving himself would be a disaster and a disgrace.

Absolutely true. No one deserves unearned accolades or authority. Trust, authority, responsibility - all are earned.

I have just seen too many posts in here from anxious young women asking how to please their man. He’s angry. He’s volatile. If only you’re just a little more submissive! A little more feminine! Maybe you’ll inspire him to protect you!

I question how much you've actually seen this. Anger and volatility are generally noted as red flags. These aren't behaviors to placate, they're things to avoid/address. To say RPWers suggest submission and placation to such behaviors is close to ascribing condoning abuse, which we vehemently do not do.

Misinterpreting the Red Pill in this way is a grave mistake. It contributed to me staying married to an abuser.

Ah, there's where you were coming from. At least you admit that seeing RPW as placating abuse was a misinterpretation. RPW isn't old-school Tradcon thinking, though there's some overlap.

No amount of submission, long hair, heels, and soft voice will inspire noble behavior in a man who does not aspire to noble behavior.

Partially true. Books like "Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood" very much do give you the tools to inspire your man to lead, rather than to just be inert. You can't force leadership, but you very much CAN encourage it.

Now to the core disagreeement.

Taking any man off the street, slapping a Captain’s shoulder boards on him, giving him an officer’s pay and honors without him proving himself would be a disaster and a disgrace.

This also tells me you have never been in the military. Yes, being a Captain is a rank. But that's not what calling your husband a Captain means.

Captain is also a position. It means the ultimate authority on the ship. A wet-behind-the-ears ensign (lowest Officer rank) can be a Captain if he's the ranking officer on the ship. THAT is what it means to be Captain. Not a rank, but a position of leadership and authority.

There is no rank in interpersonal relationships, only authority, respect, and trust, and those have to be earned. Grant them without earning them at your peril.

slver6 · 2022-07-13T03:58:25+00:00

why are you mixing

Misinterpreting the Red Pill

with

"It contributed to me staying married to an abuser."

in other words, your own decisions and mistakes has nothing to do with misinterpreting the red pill, bad choices were yours... this has no sense lol

OddlyFirst · 2022-07-13T15:19:21+00:00

Actually, my boyfriends sister has a Navy scholarship to med school and she will graduate as an O-3. She’s automatically an O-1 through school with no prior Navy experience

Title	There’s a reason why no branch of the US military has officers start as Captain…because being a Captain is earned.
Author	jaja667
Upvotes	78
Comments	33
Date	July 13, 2022 12:29 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/vxpyhw/theres_a_reason_why_no_branch_of_the_us_military/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/theres-a-reason-why-no-branch-of-the-us-military.1123344 https://theredarchive.com/post/1123344

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