I keep referring myself as a beta male…

HGW86 · 2022-07-26T20:34:28+00:00

I can empathize. It's extremely awful how much the whole Beta/Alpha thing can really resonate hard when you feel like you're the "beta".

I think if you want a good first step, it's to abandon the whole alpha/beta rhetoric that the red-pill promotes and use the term psychologists and therapists would likely use instead, such as "low self-esteem" or "inferiority complex" rather than "beta mentality" or whatever.

The reason you should start using these terms instead is because when you go searching for solutions/resources/help/etc, you will likely get some good results from qualified therapists/psychologists if you search for "low self-esteem" or for "inferiority complex", whereas you'll get spammy red-pill bullshit if you look into "beta mentality" for solutions.

I think this is a pretty good article that goes into the subject for inferiority complexes for example.

https://kentuckycounselingcenter.com/do-i-have-an-inferiority-complex/

I think you do need to think of the very specific things that make you feel emasculate and why, this way you can directly address those specific reasons whether or not it's insecurities or something you can fix or if you just need some form of personal empowerment.

I hope what I wrote is helpful to you, please take care and please remember to be kind to yourself!

joaniejoi · 2022-07-26T21:31:27+00:00

I always had low self esteem and can relate to always feeling less than the people you surround yourself with. Fortunately I came in contact with the alpha/beta terminologies when I was already grown up and formed some semblance of critical thinking. Drop it. Humans don't neatly fit in categories, it's like a Redpill horoscope. Even the wolf study that it was based on was debunked if I am not wrong. Try to figure out where your insecurity comes from and even if solving it may be impossible at least you'll know what it is and you'll be able to work around that. People who look alpha to you probably have their own insecurities and feel like betas in some areas of their life.

I also kinda mirrored your situation with women but reverse the genders. I've always felt uneasy around men, because I thought that since I was never the prettiest or funniest girl around, they'd be annoyed by my presence. I managed to overcome this by trying to look at people like people...basically ignoring the genders and treat everyone like neutral entities, and it really worked for me after a while.

DanMarinosDolphins · 2022-07-27T00:03:29+00:00

I don't believe in beta/alpha. The whole premise of it was based on a book of captive wolves that the author latter said was totally wrong and he regrets writing it. The truth is, the whole theory was based on how the two lowest males in the pack act. They're equally insecure, and fighting for the just one above the bottom social standing. Men who constantly need to put down other men have low self esteem and are terrified of being on the bottom themselves.

Actual human male leaders feel paternal and protective towards weaker males. And they defuse situations not escalate them. Other men naturally see them as father figures and want to follow them.

There's nothing wrong with feeling like a weak male. It usually just means you crave male mentors and leadership which is a normal part of male development in fact I think feeling weak and vulnerable is a step above being so insecure you lash out and carry yourself with false bravado, ready to freak out at any perceived attack.

I've worked on finding mentors both professionally and personally in my life. Bosses, teachers, martial arts senseis. I honestly think all men should be part of a group. It's good for you.

SweelFor- · 2022-07-27T00:04:54+00:00

Stop consuming RP content and consume psychology content instead.

Consuming RP content put these ideas in your head, so stop doing that, and do the opposite instead.

The opposite of RP is actual psychology

zapadz · 2022-07-26T20:13:38+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpozXn8ln-Y

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOae2s8JOUE

2_cider_jack · 2022-07-26T20:34:10+00:00

This is poor self esteem man. What helped me a lot when I felt the way that you do is to see a therapist, and a book called The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem helped me a ton too.

The good news mate is that you're far from the only person to feel like this and that there's nothing wrong with you: it's in your head.

ChocolatChipLemonade · 2022-07-26T22:53:32+00:00

There’s no such thing as a beta male (that’s a myth perpetuated by TRP) and you’re not less than anybody. Humans are very complex and all men have different personality traits of all the different “males”. Nobody fits as a puzzle piece into one. Women don’t give you attention because they’re just as uncertain about themselves as you are about yourself.

Red_Trapezoid · 2022-07-27T12:57:36+00:00

The alpha/beta thing was based on a discredited and redacted wolf study. It's not real, it's total fiction with no basis in reality. Stop referring to yourself as a beta, you might as well be referring to yourself as a centaur. It's not real. It's fantasy.

lawrieee · 2022-07-27T18:13:23+00:00

TRP often paints betas as the guys who earn well, get married and have a family with the small risk of paternity fraud. If you don't have kids then there's nothing negative in that description, not that anything out of the TRP is particularly accurate. The alpha stereotype couldn't be more of a dick head.

sowilostar · 2022-07-26T19:57:57+00:00

Most people don’t know what a beta male is. If you’re quiet, they think you’re quiet or shy. Some women will find that cute. If you say weird stuff, they’ll think you’re nerdy. But some women will find that cute too. But very rarely will you encounter a woman who sees those traits and thinks “beta.” The red pill ideology has a weird idea that all women are the same and that we all want the same kind of guy who is an alpha chad asshole who sleeps around. But I hate that nonsense. If Andrew tate was my husband I would absolutely [redacted] him in his sleep. Most women just want a nice guy who makes her feel special and who she has a connection with. That’s really it. If you’re having trouble meeting women, I would consider going out to places where you can enjoy your hobbies, work, school, etc and just talking to your classmates, co workers, friends as if they were normal people. Don’t look at it as talking to girls. Look at it as talking to people. And you will make friends, improve your social skills, and maybe have a romantic connection with someone.

Rook_Cross · 2022-07-29T17:13:06+00:00

Low self esteem, or sometimes the more pernicious inferiority complex. It's not uncommon, redpill or not. It's not that you're a Beta, that's just what RP has labelled a myriad of normal human things. You get over it by building your self esteem, by not comparing yourself to others, etc. Sometimes talking to a therapist helps, but there are plenty of books and videos about how to build self esteem and not worry so much about what others think. setting goals and accomplishing them helps a lot. Build up from smaller goals to bigger goals. Learning new skills can do that too. If your social anxiety bothers you, you can use a cognitive behavioural therapy workbook to get past it. CBT can be used to also change these thought patterns about you being a beta male. Plenty of books and videos on how to change negative thinking. People think having low self esteem is like, not just a problem someone is dealing with, but like a negative label that means they're bad, like a put down. It's not, it's just a problem that can develop in some people, especially if they were abused or have a predisposition to it, and like other problems, it can be fixed. You just have to work on it bit by bit and it will get better over time.

Title	I keep referring myself as a beta male…
Author	dcw125
Upvotes	13
Comments	17
Date	July 26, 2022 7:32 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/w8ss6x/i_keep_referring_myself_as_a_beta_male/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/i-keep-referring-myself-as-a-beta-male.1125623 https://theredarchive.com/post/1125623

Comments