Im stuck. Seperated for almost a year (2 year seperation pre divorce as per nz law). Im in the position where im bankrupting myself just to pay child support/rent. Im making progress. Have had a few job interviews (40k extra a year job interviews). If i get either of the 2 im gunning for gives me better hours with the kids 5050 care actually possible maybe even more (10 from 14 nights potentially). Currently shes still in the house with the boys.

We initially agreed that for the time being we wouldnt sell but im at the point where potentially not selling is hindering me moving forward more than its servicing the boys by being a stable housing situation. I jist dont know how to broach the situation.

Its fucked up because ultimately i left a relationship that was hurting me despite the fact that I was willing to try make it work. She said "no what we have is fine i get my cake and can eat it too"(i wanted to shut down a polyam situation she enjoyed the fucking around). It was destroying my mental health so i pulled finger and said nope. Next step is the lawyers but i dont know how to broach the situation with the stbx. (Have been reading: No more mr nice guy. Tha ks for the suggestion team)

I dont know its all fucked up. Its essentially do i fuck myself so the kids have a stable home with mum (shes not a bad mum and theres no bad blood) or do i fuck over their mum so they have a stable home with dad.

Whats the thoughts?