We mostly operate from our subconscious. (95% to be exact)

The rest is our conscious.

When the two are not in alignment than what you say you want is often times not what you do.

Often times what you do is a or series of subconscious pattern of behaviour you have been conditioned to do because you have done it soo much it’s been ingrained in you.

When something is ingrained in you it becomes an automatic response meaning you barely think about doing it.

Most behaviour that is ingrained in you is behaviours you don’t want because the brain remembers the most memorable behaviours and forgets the rest (also known as the pruning process)

Unfortunately the most memorable moments in our lives are those that tend to be negative because are brain is designed to seek out negativity as it is the ultimate threat detector.

Thus if you do not understand the above you can fully program yourself to be a subconscious self destructive machine where what you say you want is not what you actually end up getting and many cases you suffer deeply for it.

And often times much of this programming comes from subconsciously feeling like you deserve what you get not what you want, or you don’t love yourself enough or think you are deserving of love.

That is why whenever I see people do this in real life I pay vastly close attention to what it is they are acting on because that tells me how close they are to changing or spiralling further down this subconscious rabbit hole.

Sources for the science: Psychology 13 Ed, Chapters 2; 3,8.