Late 50s couple. Kids are long out of the house. I was a 200k a year employee but with my wife’s blessing almost a year ago I left that job to make my hobby, a career. The hobby career will probably max out at 60k a year. Some would call this a coasting early retirement. She also took a step back from 65k to 40k

So things have been rough off and on for years. She is very jealous and untrusting. Makes things up and starts crazy fights.

The last 6 mos things have settled. We don’t argue but we’ve moved into roommate mode. For over 6 months she unapologetically says “it’s just so hot to sleep with you”. And sleeps in the spare bedroom This is after 30 years of marriage always in the same bed. Sex stopped. No affection. Polite conversations like roommates

So while it’s not awful there are a ton of mental scars from years of abuse to me and having a wife who walks past our bedroom every night to sleep in the spare bedroom is crushing to me but I can deal with it. We are both healthy and attractive people. This is not how I want to spend my remaining good years

So finally got if question if not already obvious.

If I file for divorce and make 1/4 of my prior salary, how will that impact alimony? My wife agreed to this plan. It was discussed a year in advance.

Is there an amount of time I should stick around in the house making this lesser amount of money, to further prove It was a legit “starting my own business” move so alimony is based off that lower number?

I have this fear I am looking at forced corporate slavery when a judge says based on my fully capable salary of 200k my alimony is as much as my now income.

Disclaimers/Notes

I am 100% ok with splitting of assets 50%. I just don’t want to be a slave to alimony or forced to go back to corporate world.

i am leaving out the details of the mess our marriage has been for years. Trust me when I say everyone who knows us would say it’s amazing Ive hung in this long. We’ve done therapy. I think she needs more serious help but she 1000% disagrees

I am not saying she has two personalities but she has two very different emotional personalities. She gets crazy jealous and paranoid and says crazy things etc but i think still cares enough that she doesn’t want to cripple me financially. I think she may be sticking it out herself just so that I don’t get screwed on alimony

Yes she has a drinking problem.

Attorney: I have not spoken to an attorney yet. The challenge is I believe right now the goal would be simply consultative for a later divorce and then I have to pay. Not sure how I hide that. if this were 100% divorce time it wouldn’t matter (payment)

I thank you in advance!