he said he doesn't want to take a step in our relationship because he is not sure about the trajectory of his life.

_Pumpkin_Muffin · 2022-09-30T10:29:50+00:00

It's been two years. Get out and meet other people. If he saw you as "the one", he would have let you know by now.

cohost3 · 2022-09-30T16:45:58+00:00

If he wanted to, he would.

When men find the one, they don’t hold back or have doubts. They don’t let anything stand in their way. If he’s talking like this, there is at least a part of him that thinks he will find better.

Let him go, move on. If he truly wants you he will realize what he lost and come back.

stripe_throwaway · 2022-09-30T12:17:10+00:00

I like you but I'm not sure about how my life will go ( he was talking about him thinking about moving abroad ) and I don't want to tie myself to a relationship, and that once you take that step, going back from there is never good and could ruin what we have?

Translation: he doesn't want anything more than an ongoing casual fling with you. He may tick all your boxes but you either don't tick all his or he has no intentions of settling down any time soon. Sorry, it's time to move on.

silkflowers47 · 2022-09-30T14:02:57+00:00

if you guys were never together, you were never a backup. If he didn't care about you, he would have slept with you and called you at night to com over when he is convenient. He might be careful with the women in his life. He might be the type to value your feelings and self worth. If it is casual flirting for two years, you should try to talk to him and ask what he means

buni223 · 2022-09-30T13:01:02+00:00

It’s unfair to think he’s just using you as a back up plan. He isn’t. You guys weren’t dating, had no obligations together, and he still spoke to you for two years. He’s just been honest, which is the most you can ask from him. You aren’t a priority because you’re not his girlfriend.

He very, very likely is not the one. You should agree to stay only friends (no flirting) or cut contact and meet new people. I’m currently dating a vet, we met during his last year of service and started dating two years after he finished. Before we dated, I briefly saw a currently serving military guy, who was a huge player. There was no “idk I might move overseas” from him lol. My brother and a few old high school friends are also in the military, so I know how a lot of these guys are.

Go meet other people and try not to hold resentment for this guy you had a sweet fling with. If you want to be treated like a priority, find a man who has a very clear trajectory in life. Usually guys who have their sh*t together will know where to fit a woman in their lives, whereas guys like the dude you’re talking to doesn’t know because his future is up in the air rn.

sunglasses90 · 2022-09-30T12:13:53+00:00

A guy who truly likes you will make you his girlfriend after 2 months. It’s time to move on to bigger and better things.

FreshFruitForFree · 2022-09-30T20:25:25+00:00

Give him an ultimatum, and one month to think about it.

chips500 · 2022-09-30T15:34:11+00:00

Rather than the knee-jerk women’s take that he doesn’t care about you (don’t let others henpeck you into misery), let’s show both empathy and kindness while remaining firm.

Sometimes timing isn’t right and don’t work out despite being otherwise compatible adults. He’s in the military. His life is not under his own control.

If you want to be in his life, you’ll need go be risk taking and honestly take some risks.

It is fair to date other people. It is also fair to see where this goes with him— if you are willing that is.

Don’t instant knee jerk react to bullshit. Talk, confirm what kind of person the other is, and what they want to do with life. Figure out what you want too.

Are you willing to move with him? Follow him? These are all risks but a necessary discussion with yourself and potential partners. Figure out your values.

You can’t go backwards in relationships, or stagnate. That’s wasting your time. You need to face conflict. Move forward or move on. However, first confirm with yourself what you actually want.

AutoModerator · 2022-09-30T10:26:09+00:00

Title: he said he doesn't want to take a step in our relationship because he is not sure about the trajectory of his life.

Full text: I've been seeing this guys for 2 years, he's in the military so it's long distance for most of the time.

We get along well and he ticks all my boxes but we've never been serious, it was just casual flirting for 2 years then a few weeks ago he told me he sees me as more than just friends and that I mean a lot to him and that he likes me.

Since then our dynamic changed and we started flirting more and he started hinting at a future together but he still didn't ask me to be his girlfriend.

Last night we were talking on the phone and he told me "I like you but I'm not sure about how my life will go ( he was talking about him thinking about moving abroad ) and I don't want to tie myself to a relationship, and that once you take that step, going back from there is never good and could ruin what we have?.

My initial thought was that I was a back up plan to him, someone he can always leave whenever he finds something better and I know I should be treated as a priority, but I can't help but feel that maybe he's the one, and maybe I should continue talking to him to see where it goes.

Please give me some insight from a different perspective since I don't feel like I'm thinking straight.

^{This is the original text of the post and this is an automated service}

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

SatyaNi · 2022-09-30T21:48:55+00:00

You already had (wasted) 2 years.

If you want something sérieusement and exclusive, search elsewhere.

TheBunk_TB · 2022-10-01T00:52:03+00:00

He doesnt want the military to kill a good relationship. He also cares about you.

It is time to find someone else. It isnt out of ugliness.

Title	he said he doesn't want to take a step in our relationship because he is not sure about the trajectory of his life.
Author	tr1shylol
Upvotes	4
Comments	13
Date	September 30, 2022 10:26 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/xrxqyi/he_said_he_doesnt_want_to_take_a_step_in_our/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/he-said-he-doesnt-want-to-take-a-step-in-our.1133360 https://theredarchive.com/post/1133360

Comments