Divorce coming

Remarkable-Potato21 · 2022-10-28T01:58:56+00:00

I'll just start with sharing my events. Infidelity. Asked her what she ultimately wanted and felt. She wanted to raise our child in our house without me. (I purchased the house for us with my inheritance but it's only in my name.) I told her not gonna happen. There is the door if you would like to leave. Remorseful over bringing the other man into the picture. Cut all ties to him. Asking for another chance and to be there for "us". A year of trying to reconcile and keep the family together for our 2 yr old. Nothing was ever good enough. Trust gone, respect gone. Love and attention gone. It was all for our kid and it really started to show. She threatened to move out multiple times. Took the kid to her mom's multiple times but only overnight. I remained as calm as possible and tried to rationalize everything. We cordially agreed she will move out and we will separate. (Her idea) I was thinking it but couldn't tell her to gtfo, she had to want it. 4 months of living a mile away and seeing if we could coparent successfully. Many hard times but it was for the best for us as individuals. I mentioned divorce and a talk with my family lawyer seeing as it was inevitable. She wanted to go non contested and filled before me. Botched the paperwork and wanted full custody. My lawyer caught it immediately and he was the first to tell me before I even saw served papers. Immediately followed through and straightened it out with a provision order for 50/50 and everything we had already agreed upon before filling. Got her to come in and sign it. Separated 10 months and into the financial discovery process. Moving rather steady but it's an endurance race. My advice; remain cordial. Separate your emotions and stone wall. You will be overcome with emotions day to day. Do not let her see it. I was semi emotionless from the infidelity. Numb most times. When I let the emotions out, it was very clear she was against me and not with me. Everyone's situation and feelings are different. Talking to a lawyer now and making preparations is okay. There are many many financial decisions to make and not make beforehand and during and ultimately achieve after. A trusted lawyer and support from family will help immensely. Keep your mind safe and realistic. This will be hard but it will be worth it.

Edit. I'll add what my lawyer told me before the filling. Technically we are still married until we file...she can take our child whenever and wherever basically. We already had a custody type schedule for work with our daughter at daycare for the day. She worked earlier and got home later than me. Still custody hasn't been a mention in the courts. It's just been a changing and evolving schedule to accommodate my soon to be ex wife's decisions. I saw my child everyday some weeks and some times not for 4 days straight, but we always agreed and worked cordially to accommodate an almost equal shared schedule

Financial_Silver276 · 2022-10-28T01:17:04+00:00

I am a 35 year old who is likely heading for divorce. After a few months of counseling it seems like divorce is inevitable. We make similar salaries 75-100k. Currently have a mortgage on a house we live in. Also have a 3.5 year old daughter.

Any advice on what steps, who to contact about visitation for my daughter, splitting assets, help in general. I’m lost and looking for any help

velesxrxe · 2022-10-28T02:03:00+00:00

Sorry you’re going through this man. I’m sure you feel like your entire world has turned upside down. Make it your number one priority to retain a high quality attorney as soon as you can. Consult several. Do your research. But you need to protect yourself starting yesterday.

Certain-Line-6351 · 2022-10-28T04:40:35+00:00

I’m 35 heading towards a no fault divorce. As soon as I have my own place ( we rent an don’t have shared finances, my father was married 4 times and told me from go don’t put your name on anything together outside of rent)

Also I’ve waited until she has out earned me by about 15k. With my work schedule I’m not able to do 50/50 with my daughter because I work 3rd shift, but I’d be able to get her on the weekends. I’m hoping because she out earns me and because of my work schedule CS and Alimony are a wash.

So, I’m going to serve her a no fault divorce an we stay separated for a year and it’d basically just rip the band aid off no court battle. Just shake hands and wish each other well.

FindingMyPrivates · 2022-10-28T05:11:43+00:00

I’ve felt so alone through my separation. Worse that we still live with each other. Have solace knowing you have support from strangers . I’m 30, married 7, and have two kids. Shits so draining. Hang on dude. You’ll make it. Push through for your baby girl. My youngest is 3 and oldest 5. Living is the best with them. Hell we went to the store and had a great time. Out any of this , feel that love from your daughter. It’ll help you go through anything.

Gattsama · 2022-10-28T06:44:01+00:00

Sorry you are going through this, sent you a DM with a general overview of the process. But it really varies a lot state to state. Talk to a few local attorneys and keep one on backup 'just in case.' You want to be prepared because things go sideways really quickly.

Small_Quarter_3673 · 2022-10-28T16:19:39+00:00

Hey listen looks like you are a good man. I am usually for working things out but at some point when you deal with infidelity and other big issues it's not worth it. Fight for your kid and your stuff move on and find someone else and live your life your way

Greadle · 2022-10-28T09:54:17+00:00

Congratulations! It’s the first step in rebuilding what can be a wonderful life.

Title	Divorce coming
Author	Financial_Silver276
Upvotes	9
Comments	19
Date	October 28, 2022 1:11 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/yf9esu/divorce_coming/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/divorce-coming.1137065 https://theredarchive.com/post/1137065

Comments