How to Manage Wanderlust While Married

Love-reps · 2022-11-01T13:46:11+00:00

is a hall pass him getting to sleep with other women while married to you?

If you want to travel, you should. If he can’t go with you, go with a friend. I have many female friends that travel without their husbands and are stay at home wives.

It doesn’t always have to be expensive. It can be a day trip to a nearby city or a weekend to a driving destination. You can also use google flights to find cheap airfare and stay in hostels. I did 20 days in europe for 3500 CAD a couple years ago.

It’s important to enjoy your life and do things you want to, especially before your kids arrive. It gets harder to travel when you have children and if he doesn’t have money now he certainly won’t when there’s a baby here

Teacup000 · 2022-11-01T13:48:01+00:00

Ask for what you want. Not because he has gotten something he wants, but because you are feeling unhappy. Don't compare what you get to what he gets. Focus on what you need.

He had something he wanted, he negotiated for it. The time to trade favor for favor was back then. To now try to hold that deal hostage or as leverage is in bad faith and manipulative. Just do what he did, and ask.

And if you guys have "her money" "his money" and "our money", then yeah, spend yours on whatever you want.

Embarrassed_Cup2524 · 2022-11-02T01:57:19+00:00

You should have a degree of wanderlust throughout you life I believe

sunglasses90 · 2022-11-01T14:38:04+00:00

I traveled a lot before meeting my finance. I even did a tiny bit of solo travel to safe domestic places. I’ve been to Europe several times with friends. It’s extremely safe in most places, but I don’t necessarily recommend extensive foreign travel alone as a woman. There’s a 99% chance you’ll be fine, but being over seas puts you at a disadvantage if anything does happen.

Travel together. This is something that is important to you. He should invest in you as you invest in him. It doesn’t have to be a month long backpacking trip. Spend a week or two there, Europe can be affordable for lodging/food/train. The most expensive part is the airfare. Do it before you have a baby. If he cannot get off work maybe you can go with a friend?

There’s nothing wrong with you wanting to do fun things. You should be doing things together according to both of your interests.

Haunting_Afternoon62 · 2022-11-03T06:42:07+00:00

Yeah fuck that u should be able to travel and TRUST ME putting yourself on hold for a guy who gets hall passes is NOT worth it in the end.

undothatbutton · 2022-11-01T15:56:15+00:00

Is he opposed to you traveling now without him before kids? Or have you not yet brought it up because you’re worried it’s an unfair request?

I don’t think you should frame it as “you get a hall pass, I get to travel” unless that’s the natural way your relationship operates. Imo you should just state your needs and desires, not make it “tit for tat.” If he doesn’t want you to travel, will you revoke permission for a hall pass? I would think probably not. So this doesn’t really sound like a good approach to the conversation.

Personally I would travel now. It’s not impossible by any means with kids but it’s sooo much easier. Travel with some friends, maybe travel solo (depending on your comfort), and occasionally travel with your husband if he’s interested.

I traveled a lot while young, I’ve traveled some with my husband, but now that we have a toddler, we have had to adjust to more family-friendly traveling. Most of that was local or in the States in general, though we did go to Europe for 6 weeks this summer with a 9 month old. It was definitely a different experience and all of our travel with our baby/now-toddler has been a lot more work and a lot more of an event than a vacation. If it’s important to you to go to a certain place/s, make your plans pre-baby! You may not get the reasonable chance to do so again until much later.

brushshstrokes · 2022-11-03T03:43:13+00:00

I knew of a woman who gave birth, put that baby in a front-sling and went traveling over Europe. I as a a baby was taken to England and France. Lots of people travel with infants.

pimchi · 2022-11-01T21:57:48+00:00

Computer games might be a good substitute, something like red dead redemption 2 allowing you to experience most of America in the 1800s.

Or assassin's screed odyssey allowing you to experience 400 BC greece + islands.

Sure it tends to be more scaled down, but it gets the important locations down and the feel of them too for the most part I think.

And if the games are too hard you can always just use cheats, at least if you're on PC (not sure about consoles).

You can even try going VR for the above games (or others) and get even more immersion (maybe even too much?)

AutoModerator · 2022-11-01T13:38:52+00:00

Title: How to Manage Wanderlust While Married

Full text: For context, I am in my late 20s and my husband and I plan to start trying to conceive a little over a year.

I have only traveled out of the country once, several years ago. I used to have raging wanderlust but quelled it until today and it had me thinking-is it wrong for me to have this desire and want to pursue it? I’ve compromised for his desire to have “hall passes” in the future as a HVM… is it so wrong that my lust is for other places and I’d like to pursue it while I’m young?? Like I’d love to just take a solo trip to Europe. I’d pay for all my expenses.

Also he’s not as into travel and we’ve talked about how we’ll be able to travel more in the future when he has more time and money. But this is the part where I’m thinking- why do I have to be the unselfish one when it comes to my desires that may stray from the “commitment” to my spouse? Shouldn’t there be a bit of freedom within marriage- especially since he’ll have freedoms and also since we don’t have kids yet??

I don’t know if this sounds horrible but honestly I like being honest without shame or guilt because it’s better than suppressing things. I just wanted to get some feedback from other women before I present these thoughts to him.

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ReveredIrreverentRev · 2022-11-07T15:23:32+00:00

College/grad school. Something like European studies or _________(insert country) literature. Then you get year round 'travel' through fantasy and a super legit excuse to visit said place multiple times...

Title	How to Manage Wanderlust While Married
Author	dressedindignity
Upvotes	2
Comments	12
Date	November 1, 2022 1:38 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/yj8ymp/how_to_manage_wanderlust_while_married/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-to-manage-wanderlust-while-married.1138560 https://theredarchive.com/post/1138560

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