Hi there— new here but been a long time lurker. I’ve done all the things you’re not supposed to, I’ve made all the beta mistakes in the past. But I’m finally turning a new leaf.

All the typical things have happened— her sex drive has fallen to hardly never, we have started couples counseling, yadda yadda. It doesn’t look good. I discovered some of her texts from the early days of our relationship and I realized how she very early on put me in the Beta category. But she has a thing where if I tried to break up with her, she would get turned on and need to win me back.

We also had a rough period in our early days where I suggested that we open our relationship up. And when she learned that I was dating somebody, it’s like the libido floodgates opened and she was constantly wanting me. But eventually we settled back into a relationship, had a kid, and it has been full parent mode since then.

But now that our daughter is past the toddler years, and our relationship troubles are back in the forefront, I’m feeling the need to tell her that I need an open relationship again. Not only because I need a sexual outlet again, but I think it kicks her ass into wanting me again (or letting me go).

Would love to hear your thoughts— tell me how much I suck, but also some constructive criticism if you can?