Help Needed! Hostage in divorce

dday_throwaway3 · 2023-02-10T13:51:30+00:00

Set a trial date. That's her only motivation. Right now she has everything she wants from you: Your money, the kids and no you. Trial is the only incentive.

NothingIsEverEnough · 2023-02-10T14:17:18+00:00

Schedule a trial. Don’t wait on her lawyers

Mountain_Collar_7620 · 2023-02-10T14:28:27+00:00

It’s like warfare - plan set trial execute till done . Block phone , move on .

Gattsama · 2023-02-10T15:01:16+00:00

Yeah man nearly the exact same scenario as you but no kids. I filed Feb '22. I said we need to sell this house asap, the market is hot but going to fail and interest rates are on the rise. She said 'will think about it.' Refused to even discuss listing the house May-July, so missed the hottest market for years to come. Canceled mediation twice.

Finally agreed to list the house Nov. We got one and only one offer. We were asking $1.3M and they offered $1.26M and agreed to all her stupid demands (that's another long story). She refused to accept the offer. Claims she thought we could get full price. I saidni would pay her the difference in full price (an extra $56k). At first she said yes, they refused to sign once written up.

Then she emails me and says she will accept the addition $56k if I will accept: a certain division of assets, division of debts and a certain about of spousal support. I told her none of that had anything to done with the home sell. We have one offer and no more are coming, it's near Thanksgiving/Holidays. I agreed to 4 of her 5 extortion demands but not the spousal support. She again refused.

Long story short I said fuck it. Sent emails to her, her attorney, my attorney and the realtor. Outlined the above, said the STBX had no honest or realistic plans to negotiate. Cancel all future interactions and will just let a judge decide (WA state assigns a court date 11mo after filing so had 1/3/23 assigned already).

No shit, 2 days later her attorney calls, we set up mediation, we hammer everything out, we modified a bunch of stuff with the realtor and buyer; and get the entire deal done for divorce and home sale in a week.

10mo of nothing but waste, but e erythung wrapped up I'm 1 week once it was going to go to the court. OK, this turned into a venting session, sorry about that... But my advise now is if there's any BS from one side and mediation isn't happening, just get a court date. They either come to the table to avoid the judge or the judge will make a final verdict and be done with it.

Horrible system. Her choices wasted about $400k of potential wealth.

jkw118 · 2023-02-10T17:33:49+00:00

Listen dude, I have 3 kids, and we are living in the house. The ex has held the mortgage and deed over my head constantly as an excuse to do whatever she wants. Refuses to sign stuff, when I offer fair market value, it get's dragged on for months. Till it's no longer valid, and needs a new appraisal.

We had a deal, she broke the deal as soon as the value went up on the house. At this point she wants to keep it in limbo for the next 10-20+ years. As whenever it gets sold she'll get half, as I pay the mortgage and all the bills. I get $0 spousal or custody support, and haven't sought it yet. I have the kids 75%+ of the time. My lawyer has gotten so frustrated with the BS, he's like it may be cheaper to wait for her to die. (she does have medical issues) but nothing indicating she'll kick the bucket anytime soon.

So I'm 46, in my area the courts are backed up 2-5 years for this stuff. So most pushing through court is a nightmare. And she fights every type of settlement as then she'd be off my insurance, and she'd have no control over the house. Which she essentially sees as her nest egg that I'm paying for.

throwawaydivorceepa · 2023-02-15T17:45:31+00:00

UPDATE: Spoke with the lawyer abut next steps. Turns out I really am hostage at the moment.

In PA after the above mentioned 90 day cool off period both parties have to submit paperwork to move to the next phase, which I have done. She has not and is using it to stall. I can ask a court to force the signature if I can prove she is intentionally delaying as the plaintiff. You guessed it, as we are only 30 days over the 90 that is not long enough to claim she is stalling. I now have to amass proof of her stall tactics, starting with requesting documents she has already been given twice before.

captainchippsixx · 2023-02-10T16:49:53+00:00

You have to push your lawyer to move it to court to get them to budge.

Your going to pay no matter what, alimony and child support (depending state). The mortgage I get it, but it is not hat it is.

Title	Help Needed! Hostage in divorce
Author	throwawaydivorceepa
Upvotes	5
Comments	14
Date	February 10, 2023 1:48 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/10ysfv8/help_needed_hostage_in_divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/help-needed-hostage-in-divorce.1151248 https://theredarchive.com/post/1151248

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