(21m) Do I need to self improve?

luvem_aa · 2023-02-15T00:23:09+00:00

Trying to talk to them or carrying a conversation with them doesn’t sound interesting to me either. I just want to speedrun to sexting or having sex.

This is the type of men I avoid, It's really annoying. You must improve that, it says a lot about you.

xvszero · 2023-02-15T02:14:05+00:00

I just want to speedrun to sexting or having sex.

Yeah you do need to self improve. Start treating women like people, first.

Jamonde · 2023-02-15T00:16:02+00:00

I just lack the confidence

I have a bad habit of worrying too much

Trying to talk to them or carrying a conversation with them doesn’t sound interesting to me either.

My dude, self-improvement is all about addressing these things or more. You should make it crystal clear to yourself what you want. Then ask how you can get there in a way that's healthy and respectful to yourself and to others. It may not seem like it, but talking to women (whether or not they seem interested in you) is just like talking to anyone else. I'd say it's less about being smooth and more about being straightforward. You say that you just aren't interested in conversation, but even in hookup type things, you'll have better luck if you express interest in someone and can talk to them. Besides, you should convince yourself that people are inherently interesting. Being a good conversationalist and being interested in others naturally lend themselves to being around more people and actually starting something with someone.

dongtouch · 2023-02-15T07:23:46+00:00

You need to improve your mindset around women and get off the porn.

Women are human beings. They are not objects to use for sexual gratification. Honestly this might be "go see a therapist" territory. You will find it very difficult to create the sense of safety and trust for women to want to date or have sex with you if this is the vibe you give off.

softnmushy · 2023-02-15T05:23:37+00:00

If it stresses you out and you don't enjoy talking to them, I suggest taking a break from it. You can clearly jump into dating anytime you want to.

Long term, I think you should try to figure out what kind of women you enjoy talking to. If you just don't enjoy talking with people in general, that's definitely something you need to improve on. You won't be able to have a healthy relationship until you learn to enjoy conversations, even if you are only interested in conversing with certain kinds of people.

JonF1 · 2023-02-15T01:09:07+00:00

Probably not. It seems like you need to occupy your time with more fulfilling things. It is best to go into dating and relationships not in the mindset that you need one to complete you but it's a nice addition to your that would be nice to have but you're still happy to keep doing what you are doing for yourself as you wait for that special someone.

fathergoose77 · 2023-02-15T16:43:51+00:00

Depends, do you want to see women as individual human beings with differences from one another? It seems you think all women behave the same way and are interested in the same topics. Are ALL these women really not interesting at all, or are you just not learning anything about them because you’re so focused on sex?

If you just want to have casual sex, conversation skills and some chemistry is still important in my experience. People don’t generally like being used as a sex hole. What is she going to get out of sleeping with a guy who seems to not be interested in her or what she has to say? That’s usually the kind of dude who won’t pay attention to her pleasure during sex. So why should she sleep with you when she can hookup with another guy who actually enjoys talking to her, which would be a more fun hookup experience than hooking up with someone you have zero chemistry with who you feel doesn’t even see you as a whole human?

You want sex, but sex isn’t something you just “get” from another person (unless you pay/it’s transactional). Sex is an activity shared between two people that both parties agree to. It helps to have at least a little good of a rapport with someone before you engage in such an intimate activity together.

You’re in dangerous territory to becoming “that guy” who only cares about getting off, especially with the porn addiction. Don’t be that guy. The women you are meeting in person are real, multidimensional humans with their own lives, families, goals, and values. They are not the fantasy women you see in porn who are purposefully acting in order to get their viewers off so they can make money. Don’t conflate this fantasy on a screen with reality. If you feel that porn is affecting the way you see half the population, maybe limit it or lay off for a while (you can still masturbate without porn).

Nightchanger · 2023-02-16T19:29:22+00:00

Every guy thinks other guys get pussy. Check the pinned post. There's a post about redpill detox and a good one if you think redpill gets you results.

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Designer-Pass3410 · 2023-02-15T13:01:43+00:00

Sorry I don't have tip for you but may I ask you, if there is something you wish these girls know when they approach you, what is it? ( Just wanting to improve my way when I see someone attractive and want to approach him)

risen-098 · 2023-02-15T20:17:58+00:00

trying to speed run communication with women, the fact ur still refering to it as a game, just goes to show how turnings women into npcs isnt good. ur probably running dialogue trees in ur head instead of knowing how to communicate.

KindlyPizza · 2023-02-15T08:45:21+00:00

There is nothing wrong with wanting to skip interactions and go straight to sexting or sex. Most human are not all that interesting. There are some women who are also into no talks either. But there are just so few of them.

What do you think is worse, chatting them up wanting to get them into bed by feigning interest, or just make your intention clear from the get go (with risks of never run into one that will be ok with it, just because how small of a number they are).

Most people complained bout boring interactions between humans, but they mostly still do that too. It is just what it is unfortunately.

The4thMigoo · 2023-02-15T00:27:16+00:00

They can very boring to talk to.

...and you dont have to want anything but sex, there is NOTHING wrong with that.

Title	(21m) Do I need to self improve?
Author	No-Comfortable5466
Upvotes	1
Comments	58
Date	February 14, 2023 11:08 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/112izyy/21m_do_i_need_to_self_improve/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/21m-do-i-need-to-self-improve.1152654 https://theredarchive.com/post/1152654

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