Touch Isolation: How Homophobia Has Robbed All Men Of Touch.

Jesus_marley · 2013-11-18T01:03:05+00:00

In America in particular, if a young man attempts gentle platonic contact with another young man, he faces a very real risk of homophobic backlash either by that person or by those who witness the contact. This is, in part, because we frame all contact by men as being intentionally sexual until proven otherwise. Couple this with the homophobia that runs rampant in our culture, and you get a recipe for increased touch isolation that damages the lives of the vast majority of men.

I would like to add to this that men also face a huge backlash with platonic touch of women. Often times, platonic touch is automatically perceived as sexual and so the risk to men for engaging in such an act, especially in our paranoid and hostile social climate regarding male sexuality, makes the cost benefit far too high. Men pull away from it entirely and are then seen as cold, distant and aloof. Even with intimate partners, men don't always want to engage in sexual touching. That they are only seen as barely restrained overtly sexual animals means that their only other option is to relinquish platonic touch altogether. Is it any fucking wonder male suicide is so fucking high. Being socially isolated in a sea of people is enough to drive nearly anybody into such a desperate act, eventually.

knowless · 2013-11-17T21:44:52+00:00

[permanently deleted]

chavelah · 2013-11-17T23:05:26+00:00

Wow. Very powerful.

I am my husband's only intimate friend, and I really wish it were not so. We both understand the socialization that produced this result, and we manage it successfully, but frankly it's a burden on both of us at times. He is quite reasonably uncomprehending at times of my intimate relationships (platonic) with some of my women friends, and I am quite reasonably frustrated at times with my role as The Only Intimate Ever Of An Adult Human Person.

nigglereddit · 2013-11-17T21:37:23+00:00

Beautiful article. Painfully true.

I remember a few years ago, I was at a picnic in the park. We'd had plenty of wine and were enjoying the last warmth of the afternoon.

I was lying with my head on my mate R's thigh, sharing a joint with him. R is my best friend, has been for over twenty years. And not just my friend, my climbing partner. I've been in some bad, hard places with him. We've huddled close and shivered away many a freezing night with our hands and feet inside each others' clothes to avoid frostbite.

Being his friend is the most exciting thing I've ever done. And I love him very deeply - and saying that's probably more taboo still. Yet two passing girls saw us lying there and sneered, "fuckin poofs". R laughed it off but it bothered me and still does.

roharareddit · 2013-11-18T01:41:25+00:00

Directing traffic to the Good Men Project? What the heck is this? No one here should ever ever link to that site! Down voted and I encourage others to do the same.

dungone · 2013-11-18T01:20:52+00:00

Going to call bullshit on this. This has nothing to do with homophobia. Nothing! It starts with mothers refusing to touch their own male babies. The article flat out lies about this. It also flat out lies about sports and other male activities as only offering "aggressive touch". What bullshit! The historical photos they use of men touching is a cherry picked joke as well - you can find just as many modern photos of men touching. This is all about confirmation bias.

This is not homophobia, this is just plain old misandry, and this article is part of the problem. For those men who are actually affected by this for days or weeks at a time, that's all there is. No matter what it is that feminists say, there is far more stigma against men touching women than other men. Not allowed to touch children. Not allowed to touch anyone, really, without others seeing it in sexual terms. And conversely, no one will touch men without considering the sexual implications. This article tries to hijack the real pain of these men and blame it on a sensationalized men's bigotry in order to fit an ideological agenda.

Benthazaal · 2013-11-18T02:27:02+00:00

look as much as i disagree with the GoodMenProject i like this one, Me and my mate have been doing it tough the last few months and without fail every time we go to the pub as a group hugs and such become normal for a few drunken hours.

humanityisavirus · 2013-11-18T02:45:03+00:00

goodmenproject.com

I don't even want to know what this is about, fuck that site, fuck you for linking to it.

StuntPotato · 2013-11-18T06:58:06+00:00

Most men are physically attracted to women not men, hence they want to touch women and not men. Aeguing for men getting physical intimacy from male on male touch, is arguing for most men settling.

Title	Touch Isolation: How Homophobia Has Robbed All Men Of Touch.
Author	CrackHeadRodeo
Upvotes	6
Comments	48
Date	November 17, 2013 8:27 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1qudol/touch_isolation_how_homophobia_has_robbed_all_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/touch-isolation-how-homophobia-has-robbed-all-men.1158587 https://theredarchive.com/post/1158587

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