Leaving the sisterhood: A recovering feminist speaks

BrambleEdge · 2013-10-21T17:20:40+00:00

I very much enjoyed reading this. Thank you, Elly.

its_all_one_word · 2013-10-22T00:53:30+00:00

Like Elly Tams, I too am a former feminist, current gender equalist. I couldn't take it anymore because my feminist aunt said the most slut shaming things. For instance, she bragged that when my cousin turned 16 and started wearing makeup that she told her, "You can do whatever you want with your body but I want you to know that you look like a Puerto Rican slut." As someone who has had to deal with sexual assault in ways that a lot of feminists have not, I would say that the people who belong to our so-called rape culture are fringe people and the real problem. I also felt somewhat isolated when I was struggling to talk about my personal experiences with sexual assault and cannot imagine what it would be like to be a man and have to deal with people saying that they can't get raped, they can only "get lucky." I quit feminism because I made my decision to favor legal abortion only after I read about fetal development and made a decision on whether it is infanticide or not (it is not infanticide for most of the trimester, when you are defending something that never had neurons) for bioethical reasons, not because I think abortion (which several women in the Unitarian church I grew up in were opposed to) because it's about controlling women. It's a contentious issue because, as my brother says, "Women's rights are important. But they're not so important that they're the only thing that is important." And then there's male privilege. It didn't evolve from just patriarchy. It evolved from strong gender divisions that affect both men and women. Men enjoy having (statistically speaking) more time to work on their careers. Inversely, women enjoy (statistically speaking) more time to enjoy with their children. But what takes the cake is the objectification of women. I am bisexual. I sometimes want to talk to men and women just because they are cute. That does not mean I think they are objects. It just means I have hormones. Saying that men objectify women is heterosexist (it ignores the male sex drives of gay men) and it sexist against women. It denies that women have hormones and also think lustful thoughts about men. It basically says that only straight men are sexual beings and if that is not sexist and homophobic, I don't know what is.

Pecanpig · 2013-10-21T16:00:38+00:00

8/10 would read again.

5th_Law_of_Robotics · 2013-10-21T20:53:22+00:00

One of the things I have found hardest to accept about feminism is just how incoherent it is, and how it often uses dodgy data and – well, actual lies – to promote and justify its statements.

The sheer volume of lies and half-truths feminism has spread and made in to popular "facts" is by itself a disgusting indictment of the movement.

Behaviouralgene · 2013-10-21T21:24:22+00:00

Concise, well-written and accessible. Fantastic and thank you.

SilencingNarrative · 2013-10-21T18:58:54+00:00

Her essay called against feminisms, linked in this piece, is a masterpiece.

She uses feminisms favorite criticisms of other thought systems (accepts a hard gender binary, is heteronormative, is a political ideology based on naked self-interest) against feminism.

My favorite part:

6) Feminism is based on self-interest. The adoption of a feminist analysis of women in society is presented by feminists as in women’s interests. This is why feminists are able to look with contempt and/or pity on non-feminist women. As if they are somehow not valuing themselves as women and as people. But making a whole political ideology out of self-interest of a particular group in society, is, in my opinion, conservative and selfish.

She is a writer of great skill and with a firm grasp on philosophy. I look forward to reading her other works.

theskepticalidealist · 2013-10-22T13:59:33+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Bootinator · 2013-10-22T15:03:01+00:00

At my University this version of ignorant feminism runs rampant. We were all expected to read up on it and remember it but no one wanted us to have an opinion on it. I tried to have a debate on it once and I got shot down at every point simply because I was male. Because I was male I was already a part of the oppressive war machine of the Patriarchy and thus regardless of what my opinion might have been it simply didn't matter.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand. I posted this to my Twitter account hoping that some of my friends might read this. I received one reply from a feminist who also happens to be a friend of mine. She said she refused to read it simply because of the URL "avoiceformen.com". Read into that as you will. I simply replied that I liked it because it attempted to move the gender debate away from feminism to equality which really is what the entire movement should be about. Do you want to know what her reply to that was?

"Equal debate in a patriarchal society? GAH NO! Stop I don't wanna get angry feminist. I wanna lay around in my pjs and relax!"

Here is me, a guy, calling for equal and open debate to the problems both men and women face in their lives. I'm not oppressing her. I'm not telling her what she should and shouldn't do. Yet she won't argue for what she is apparently so passionate about just in case what? I start making sense?

downvoted_by_lefties · 2013-10-21T18:03:48+00:00

The feminist blogosphere is dominated by young, white, middle class women

I hate it when people use race, age, or class as a means of discrediting someone's opinion.

Title	Leaving the sisterhood: A recovering feminist speaks
Author	blueoak9
Upvotes	140
Comments	44
Date	October 21, 2013 3:40 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1owo39/leaving_the_sisterhood_a_recovering_feminist/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/leaving-the-sisterhood-a-recovering-feminist.1160765 https://theredarchive.com/post/1160765

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