im freaking out right now.

clocked_it · 2013-09-02T23:20:24+00:00

Do not talk to anyone about this, not your friends, your family, no one. Call a lawyer as soon as possible. If the police show up, do not talk to them at all either. Just stay quiet and talk to a lawyer only.

Gear up man, this is a serious situation and the less you say the better the outcome will be. Don't fucking talk to anyone!!!!!

Demonspawn · 2013-09-02T22:03:58+00:00

Fuck. Am I a rapist? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

No more than she is.

2013-09-02T22:15:28+00:00

Honestly... if you were both blackout and you think she's going to charge you, you might be well-served to file your own charges first...

Really though, I have no real fucking idea what the best way to handle such a situation is. I'm not a lawyer or experienced in this. Sounds like it was "consensual" really drunk people having really terrible sex. Given how this stuff often goes down, you should just contact a lawyer ASAP....

While your buddies might tell you to let it go. Her friends are obviously going to be explaining to her how she got raped.

radicaIcentrist · 2013-09-02T23:33:28+00:00

Well whatever happens bro, I hope you can control your drinking in the future. Blacking out is NEVER ok

notnotnotfred · 2013-09-02T22:29:11+00:00

Have you consented to the use of any illegal drugs within the past several months? If not, get yourself tested now. if there's anything in the results that you didn't consciously consent to taking, file charges against her. If you have, that complicates things.

In the future, don't get drunk at parties. A little tipsy, maybe, but seriously, if you can't handle your drink, stay the fuck home. (This is also good advice for women.)

xXCptCoolXx · 2013-09-02T22:35:45+00:00

If you were both as drunk as you claim and "consented" (in the sense that the sex was voluntary and neither party was physically or otherwise forced) then she's just as responsible as you are. Either neither of your are rapists or both of you are, I've never quite gotten a clear answer on this grey area (though I tend to side with the former).

Since you yourself don't know the details of what happened this will look really bad, especially if she recalls what happened (even if she just claims to remember). If it comes to her word versus yours you're going to be at a distinct disadvantage so you better get a lot of evidence from others about what actually happened last night so you can form an unbiased opinion about what transpired.

The only advice I can offer to you is to send messages to mutual friends/others who were at the party asking them about what happened with specific questions about how drunk you both were, whether both of you seemed willing, and any other details that may conveniently be "changed" over time by those with other interests. It'd be best to do this over e-mail/Facebook/text so that you have a record of their statements should any charges come out of it.

guywithaccount · 2013-09-03T00:05:53+00:00

Lawyer up and shut up. RIGHT NOW.

nwilli100 · 2013-09-03T02:29:50+00:00

Lawyer the fuck up and delete this post. You want to admit nothing.

After talking to your lawyer I might recommend trying to go talk to the girl in question (check with your lawyer first to see if this might somehow incriminate you, and bring him along to the meeting if you can) and see if you can work something out WITHOUT police involvement. If you go through the courts your probably gonna have a bad time even if you get off. Good luck.

2013-09-03T04:04:33+00:00

You might want to delete this post, BTW. It can e used against you in court even if you don't take the stand.

kno- · 2013-09-03T01:32:01+00:00

No you're not a rapist, but delete this post.

ThePigman · 2013-09-03T01:43:03+00:00

"Am I a rapist?"

How the fuck would we know? Indeed, how the fuck would you know, given that you blacked out?!?! Maybe she was enjoying it only up to a point, maybe your memory is fucked up by the booze and she was never enjoying it. Hell, maybe she raped you, given how fucked up you were! Fact is, we don't know, and neither do you.

PS

The one thing that can be taken from this bizarre post is that only morons drink to the point of blacking out.

typhonblue · 2013-09-03T02:10:54+00:00

So, did you actually want to have sex?

2013-09-03T02:21:36+00:00

The cops will try to pretend they're your friend. Do not talk to them. The only things out of your mouth to them are "Am I free to go?" or "I want a lawyer."

If what you say is true, and the legal system really is about justice, then you should only talk to a lawyer.

Tajikistan · 2013-09-03T02:28:14+00:00

Regardless of how you feel about the situation, it happened in a country where people go to jail for rape with absolutely no proof. That's right, I'm talking about incriminating witness testimony, of which you said there is reasonable expectation to be made available. This is why everyone is saying to call a lawyer.

If you feel as though you were raped you should file charges and a restraining order. You could be successful in getting a restraining order which would make a potential rape accusation much harder for her. But one thing is for sure they won't grant you a restraining order if you have pending rape accusations from her.

Call now. It can only hurt you if you wait, and you'll end up calling eventually because the anxiety of not knowing will get to you. Don't put yourself in limbo; know what you're up against, be ready for any move on her part, and every word you say to a police officer without a lawyer instructing you will be used against you.

Thisismynetlife · 2013-09-03T02:39:40+00:00

The suggestions above are great, but this is an SRS troll.

Collective82 · 2013-09-03T02:49:24+00:00

Look everyone here is offering you great advice. Call the cops, and report being raped. If you've been charged or think you are, only talk to a lawyer.

However this goes down, remember if her friends are telling her she was raped the rumor will be your a rapist. Charge her first before the rumor mill judges you and possibly becomes so bad that in an extreme case cause you to harm yourself.

VernonMaxwell · 2013-09-03T03:15:46+00:00

get a blood test in the mean time to see if you have any drugs in your system? not sure if thats good advice but it just came to mind.

2013-09-03T04:03:34+00:00

Don't worry, she'll just ruin your reputation. It's unlikely you will make it to trial. Just get a goo lawyer who will attack her sex life as such. Rape victims have it rough during a trial.

In the future, don't drink that much. Honestly, you need to take responsibility for your actions. If you drink so much that you can't Renee if you raped someone, you have to curb your behavior. I'd tell this to women, but then Im a rape apologist (which I kind of am, but only because I hate women).

fukuaneveryoneuknow · 2013-09-03T00:37:07+00:00

Legally man handle her ass.

Get a lawyer now, file a restraining order, or attempt to, let her know what's up, and DO NOT TALK TO THE POLICE(unless your lawyer says so).

Factually you both blacked out and had regretful sex, her being a woman in the minds of the mentally ill means you "raped" her.

Protect yourself now before she can do real harm.

Snagprophet · 2013-09-03T00:59:54+00:00

Well if women can be raped by them being too intoxicated to be 'fully responsible for their actions/in control of their decisions' I don't see why the same can't apply to you.

2013-09-03T01:13:56+00:00

[permanently deleted]

wrez · 2013-09-03T01:36:48+00:00

I think you should press charges.

You were raped by this woman!!

ihaveahadron · 2013-09-03T00:40:35+00:00

WTF you are a rape victim you idiot.

Funcuz · 2013-09-03T00:46:34+00:00

You'll know if it was her idea of rape if the cops show up.

Title	im freaking out right now.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	26
Comments	38
Date	September 2, 2013 8:42 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1llkdn/im_freaking_out_right_now/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/im-freaking-out-right-now.1164864 https://theredarchive.com/post/1164864

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