Keeping 18m child overnight without a temporary parenting plan - potentially threat of her calling police

47omek · 2021-04-11T14:45:31+00:00

If there's no court ordered plan in place, you can keep her every single night if you want and there's not a damn thing the STBX can do about it. Stop letting the STBX be the gate-keeper to the child, establish right now that you will be just as involved as she is and will not stand for being just a "visitor" in your child's life.

WartimeDad · 2021-04-11T16:13:18+00:00

Not much to say because I really have no idea. I do want to chime in to wish good luck to you brother. I sure would think that you should have the right to be with your daughter over night. Perhaps you might document the frozen milk and the solid food? Yes she will blow up, they always do lol. May the courts forever be in your favor!!

sexytimeinseattle · 2021-04-11T18:12:48+00:00

If you don't have a temp parenting plan now, she won't give you your daughter back again until you have one.

But that plan will probably be 50/50 overnights with each parent when it happens.

Is she so angry about this that she'd flee?

lemmingsrevenge · 2021-04-11T20:08:57+00:00

Ok here is the deal. You are married, both parents have custodial rights to the child. But with that said there is nothing in place that can compel a parent to give the child to other parent.

You need to accept that this is potential bomb. You cannot stop mom from taking the child, and she can't stop you. What the danger is if you two try to physically stop one another. You don't want any sort of domestic violence allegation against you. And if you yell, argue, physically interfere with mom I can guarantee you'll be talking to the police in a heartbeat.

As for nursing a 18mo, that won't work in court the child is way too old for preference being given to mom for breastfeeding.

My recommendation to you brother is this.

Whatever happens in the next few days just let it go. The time between separation and custody orders is the wild west and anything goes.

It's the worst time in the process, but it's temporary.

And the few weeks while this is sorted out won't benefit Mom in establishing a new household.

Trust that you will get a court date in a few weeks and temporary orders will be set up. At that point Mom will be powerless to stop you from spending time with your child.

Hang in there, listen to your lawyer and file asap.

RS61666 · 2021-04-11T19:58:50+00:00

You better go on the offensive. I had a friend that his ex told the judge he was on drugs. No proof whatsoever.
But she accused him. He spent the first 2 years after his divorce taking weekly drug and alcohol tests. He had to pick up his daughters on a Saturday at 9 am. Return them at 6 pm. And then do the same thing on Sunday. He was never allowed to have them overnight during this period. Two years it took of him proving himself before the judge finally redid custody.
All because she went on the offensive and accused him. One of the nicest guys i know. Funny part if there is a funny part is she was the addict. They had one of these old fashioned judges who thinks moms do no wrong and dads are shit. All over a accusation. Never once failed a drug or alcohol test and it still took two years. And yes i mean this to scare you. If she is a narcissistic she will paint you as the bad guy all day long.

jonah63 · 2021-04-11T19:42:08+00:00

How old is the daughter? I'm getting confused by the 18m if that's the case then isn't she legal age to do what she wants anyway without you or your ex's input?

_splug · 2021-04-11T16:52:52+00:00

Do you have a copy of the birth certificate with your name as the father? That’s the best proof for any custody arrangement you need until any court entered orders or you willingly enter into an agreement with the STBXW.

kapriece · 2021-04-12T06:12:45+00:00

Follow your instincts. Hammer on your lawyer for what you want. Remember they work for you. If you were a wealthy client they would do everything you ask and maybe a handjob. So it stands to reason that what you want can be done. There are ways to use the courts the same way the she would use them to protect yourself. The trick is whomever gets to the courts first usually gets favor. Her job hours will work against her in this instance if you think about it. I struck first and got almost everything I wanted. My ex sounds just like yours except she doesn't work so I had to work even faster to catch her off-guard.

Title	Keeping 18m child overnight without a temporary parenting plan - potentially threat of her calling police
Author	maybebionic
Upvotes	6
Comments	19
Date	April 11, 2021 2:18 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/morfvm/keeping_18m_child_overnight_without_a_temporary/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/keeping-18m-child-overnight-without-a-temporary.1188998 https://theredarchive.com/post/1188998

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