Is life really much better when you actually have a pretty attractive girlfriend or a girlfriend period?

Naus1987 · 2022-05-19T21:13:57+00:00

Didn’t work for Johnny Depp or Will Smith.

And both of them had money and fame. You can have everything and still be miserable

Academic_Type624 · 2022-05-19T21:28:10+00:00

It really depends on you.

I've seen plenty of insecure people who think once I get a boyfriend/girlfriend life will be great, I'll feel better about myself etc. Yet when they get a partner they're so terrified of losing them their insecurity actually gets worse.

If your validation comes from external sources you'll always need reassurance.

If you're happy within yourself having the right girlfriend can enhance your life.

Inareskai · 2022-05-20T08:20:08+00:00

This kind of reads like you 'get' a relationship and then you're done.

Relationships take work. You don't just have it and now everything's good - you almost definitely will fight with them, you'll both have good days and bad days, you'll both make mistakes etc. Even (perhaps especially) a loving and supportive relationship is going to take ongoing work and commitment from the start until whenever/however it ends.

Finding a partner is a hurdle, almost everyone has been there or is still in that struggle.

But being with a partner is not all easy sunshine and laughter with no issues.

Bulliesvegetables · 2022-05-19T19:49:45+00:00

Depends, having a pretty attractive girlfriend who treats you with disrespect seems like a pretty miserable time to me.

Having a girlfriend who is valued at a red pill Fresh&Fit value of 4.5... who supports you and cares for your wellbeing can be a really incredible and valuable thing.

the issue is less about obtaining the relationship and more about actually learning to PICK a good partner for yourself.

ChainsofAssery · 2022-05-19T20:03:25+00:00

Sharing an intimate relationship with a loving and supportive partner is amazing. But it’s not everything. It’s easy to avoid dealing with our shit by telling ourselves that having a partner will solve all of our issues, or that our main issue is the lack of a partner. This mindset is also a great way to ensure we never actually have a fulfilling partnership with someone since codependency rarely ends well.

AutoModerator · 2022-05-20T01:51:50+00:00

It doesn't last forever. You'll feel good and it will be wonderful to have a partner but life will have many curveballs that a partner can't fix

vcreativ · 2022-05-20T09:07:05+00:00

Well done (in my eyes, anyway). You're about to understand the grand illusion.

Offering a trivial response, no it really depends on who she is.

The question is, have you yet been able to merge character into what you view as attractive. I.e. observable actions of kindness, honesty, integrity, ...

It seems to me that most men (I think on the whole women are somewhat more finetuned in this regard) see the thing, and are attracted or not.

What I propose is to make an active effort to integrate observable actions into this metric of personal attractiveness, by understanding the risk associated with having the wrong people around, pretty or not.

The ideal scenario is to get to know a person before you decide on anything, basically.

But there's a more interesting level to your question: you are implicitly hoping to have needs met by women that they simply cannot provide for. Not because they're lesser, but because they're not you.

Once you fully understand that, you'll realise that the weight on your shoulders is yours to take off. That way no one has to carry it at all.

Peace cannot be given to another.

Ambitious_Bat_6308 · 2022-05-19T19:55:11+00:00

depends on what kind of person she is

unlivedbread · 2022-05-19T22:27:16+00:00

Depends. If you need one, you're gonna end up being so anxious that they'll leave that it'll make you miserable.

If you don't need one, but you just like having a certain person around it's amazing

Slight_Fig5187 · 2022-05-20T01:09:33+00:00

There are some words in your post that seem problematic, like "massive accomplishment", "proving to myself", "dying to get". It does seem that a relationship is for you some kind of trophy you need to win. Very bad basis for any meaningful connection. And if you ever reach that point, and she notices what her role in your life is, it might end very soon. Stop seeing women as a commodity, that's not the best strategy.

Rimavelle · 2022-05-20T12:19:07+00:00

It's good to be with someone if they like and respect you, because you like them back and feel important to them.

But it won't fix all your problems. If you're insecure you'll still be insecure. She can help you battle it or you may completely blow it and make her leave over it.

IzuraHeman · 2022-05-20T13:32:38+00:00

Once you get a girlfriend, your next problem is how to "maintain her", and there will also come an anxiety like "will our relationship stays forever?, does our value/ambitions align?"

Bagging an attractive lady isn't as satisfying as bagging a lady you're actually compatible with, that you can see yourself growing together with, a kind one and who you see as an equal.

Perhaps you'd have to go through some experience to understand what I'm saying huehuehue.

Title	Is life really much better when you actually have a pretty attractive girlfriend or a girlfriend period?
Author	spankyourkopita
Upvotes	6
Comments	16
Date	May 19, 2022 7:29 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/utb5d3/is_life_really_much_better_when_you_actually_have/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/is-life-really-much-better-when-you-actually-have.1209836 https://theredarchive.com/post/1209836

Comments