Let's start by defining terms

DMV : dating market value also department of motor vehicles

SMV : sexual market value

Friend zone: a situation in which one person keeps the other around as a friend, whilst the others wants more almost exclusively in habited by males

Fuck zone: one persona keeps the other around for casual hook-ups, with the other wanting more almost exclusively inhabited by women

Now with that out of the way here's my take:

Men and women exist in separate completely separate dating situations that are almost polar opposites. Women have a naturally higher SMV, This has led to a situation where women's primary issue is the fuck zone, where women are able do due natural advantages get with (sexually) men with a higher DMV, however these women get into a mental trap after this as it alot harder for women to justify long term relationship with men of a lower DMV that they can actually have. After " I can fuck a dude who makes 6 figures, eventually I'll get one to go for me long term" of couse a 6 / 10 DMV woman's not gonna get with a 9/10 DMV man long term. Of course eventually most women settle self as her SVM decreases she might start to panic and settle.

Men on the other hand exist in a different world(s), men have a much easier time getting into long term relationship with women they are already fucking, as most women aren't willing to fuck men they wouldn't be interested in long term. This leads most men successful to find partners, (although this is hypothetical since online dating is very young as a consept so thats just conjecture) whist the bottom ~15-20% of men likley will eventually find a partner, it will just be much later in life than traditionally projected.

Now this is my most controversial take here, DVM is equal amongst the genders, neither men nore women have an inate advantage in this regard.

The bottom 5-8% are where (imo) the "true" incels are. The true incels is someone who has a mix of trait that can neither be made up nore can it be truly over come by that specific individual. I'll list the trates below so we're in a similar playing field

Far Below average wealth (I am aware of money maximize but let's be realistic here most people aren't going to move up more than a social class especially in the bottom 10% of men)

Short specifically more than 2 Standard deviation less from the mean height (so for the US it's around 5'5-5'4ish)

Connective ability: extreme autism / other social impairment

Face: extreme disfigurements ONLY (no exceptions)

Frame / body: EXTREME DISFIGUREMENTS AND EXTREME FAT ONLY (cope less)

As for true "femcels" I'd say that's the bottom 1% of women and they are so rare that it's largely a case by case basises (such as extreme obesity TLC Level or hard core drug addicts)

If you made it through all that that's essentially my take on the situation we as a society find ourselfs in at the moment feel free to ask me questions in the comments or challenge my view :)