Richard Reeves made a point which really resonated with me: all problems that men face are put entirely on their own shoulders whereas problems associated with women are entirely blamed on factors outside their control.

For example, a woman who feels insecure about “slut shaming” is given sympathy and all those nasty people who use that phrase are blamed. A man who feels insecure about “incel shaming” is, at best, told to “look inside themselves“ and “stop self-pitying” at worst people will accuse them of being misogynists.

“Self pitying” is another interesting term that’s often aimed at men with problems but never women. And just to be clear, I think it’s a good thing that women dont have to face this cruelty and callousness. But men are absolutely entitled to the same basic courtesy, which is a statement that is far more controversial than it ought to be.

The fascinating part of this is that it appears to be a case of the far-right reasserting itself. The right has jumped on the “incel” slur and a lot of this feminist rhetoric because it makes it very easy to radicalise young men: “You’re feeling ostracised? The left is telling you that everything’s your fault, society doesn’t need to show you compassion and you should take responsibility for your problems? Well that’s exactly what WE have been saying: so join us!” And it WORKS.

Once men are hit with this from both sides, what are they supposed to do? Are they just supposed to get on with their work, shut up and turn to drugs/video games/escapism/porn to numb the anxiety? Because if this is the case (and according to Richard Reeves it is) it’s starting to sound suspiciously familiar. Because the general consensus is that this is exactly what women had to go through almost a century ago. Women were not taken seriously, with the media simply not attempting to reach out to them, expecting them to shut up and do their work, resulting in them getting hooked on drugs to numb the anxiety.

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This state of affairs never lasts. One day, the dam will burst. In the same way that feminism exploded into the toxic ideology it is today, if we keep men in this same situation you WILL see a reflection of this toxic ideology down the line. Maybe it’ll also take 70 years, or maybe society is travelling faster and it’ll only take a couple fewer decades. You can’t just keep these things bottled up, keeping people under control via shame and fear, and the longer this goes on, the bigger the pushback will be further down the line. The only solution is to take these problems seriously NOW before they snowball out of control.