How can I (25F) emotionally seduce him (30M) to get what I want

StructureNo3388 · 2023-05-22T09:53:00+00:00

What the hell kind of question is that?

Jenneapolis · 2023-05-22T04:44:43+00:00

If your goal is to make him more confident and emotional then I would say you have the wrong goal. You can only focus on changing yourself, not him. If he is offering to have something serious with you, cohabitation or marriage, and put that on the table, I would cut him some slack on the idea that he was not emotional enough about it. By asking you to begin with, he’s putting himself in a very vulnerable position to be rejected and it’s very hard for a man to be super emotional in that position so they may divert the other way and be a little detached. Maybe try to see things from his point of view and focus more on figuring out what you really want out of the relationship and not how to make him more emotional.

RubyWooToo · 2023-05-22T12:55:50+00:00

I don’t think you should or even need to emotionally manipulate because there is a very practical reason why you shouldn’t agree to move in with him without marriage.

Moving in together just to “test things out” means putting your kid in a very a precarious position. If after a year one of you decides it isn’t working, then your child will have to suffer the experience of divorce, even if the divorce isn’t happening on paper.

There are 2 courses of action to take in your situation (1) Get married, work through your issues, and commit to providing your child with a stable and loving 2-parent home. (2) Break up entirely and focus on amicable coparenting.

But the situation you have now, and that he is proposing, where you each have one foot in and out the door is not tenable in the long term and not fair to your child.

Mighty_Wombat42 · 2023-05-22T21:32:20+00:00

Considering he brought up marriage and that he was invested enough to make changes and get his mental health sorted in order to get back together with you, I’d say he sounds committed already. My suggestion would be to give him the logical reasons why you want to get married before living together. Let him know you hear and understand his reasons for cohabitation, and you have some additional points to discuss, such as the fact that if you move in and it doesn’t work out, that will be more disruptive on your child. Ask what his objections to getting married first are, maybe he is under the impression that you want a big expensive wedding or something. If you’d be ok with just a legal marriage right now and a wedding ceremony later on with more time to save and plan, or if you don’t want a ceremony, make sure he knows that.

Basically join him in problem solving mode but without taking the lead. Bring your additional points to him and see how he responds. Give him the opportunity to hear your side and come up with a solution. Then you decide if you are ok with that solution. If you absolutely want to get married before living together and he’s not willing to do that, you will have to choose between being with him or being married first. You’ve known him a while and he seems to be a loving and stable partner. Bring him your concerns about cohabiting before marriage and give him a chance to find a solution that works for both of you.

Zearha · 2023-05-24T16:07:35+00:00

The answer to your question is in your post.

How to emotionally seduce him to make him want to marry you and make you his wife. For one, you need to say what you want, you need to tell him you want to be a cherished wife for one. He needs to know that being married is an expectation, but at the same time this is a delicate balance, you cannot overload him with the emotional burden of loving you as a cherished wife without being a cherishable wife material woman.

Your answer is living with him for a year to grow these feelings so he has the loving motivation to make a wife out of you. Not doing this and still wanting marriage first is putting the cart before the horse, not a good idea. He also needs to want to be a husband and provider in the sense that you both are compatible, this demands a LOT of thought, forethought, and extreme detail thinking so that you both are on the same page. I’m actually really glad you posted this because this is a golden opportunity for you both to set the table so to speak and air out all your wants and desires.

The final thing to note is that even after marriage you and him cannot slip too much, like the typical thinking of, say, the wife gains weight and the husband isn’t attracted anymore, she brought that on herself and it’s only her responsibility to be cherishable if she has the desire to be desired. This is not “love me as I am” territory, taking care of the pain of getting things done now will open you up to enjoying the fruits of your labor later. Good luck.

titlejunk · 2023-05-22T03:37:41+00:00

At every juncture if it is not a F YES, it’s a no.

You were both very young when you had a kid together.

Why try to rekindle something you already know doesn’t work?

Flip side if you are just looking at this pragmatically: get back with him, ignore all the reasons you aren’t together now, have another baby.

AutoModerator · 2023-05-22T03:20:48+00:00

Title: How can I (25F) emotionally seduce him (30M) to get what I want

Full text: We’ve known each other for 5 years went to college together and have a 2 year old together. He went through some mental health issues that went untreated at which time we separated but he and his family kept me updated with his medication and therapy etc. and when he started getting help he resumed supporting us financially with the major bills and even kept our baby at his place a couple days a week

long story short he is back in his career and thriving and he brought up in conversation one day while we were at an art festival that he is considering moving forward with marriage. He also told me he is moving in August and wants us to live together

I told him I’m not sure and that although Ive enjoyed every day spent with him I couldn’t imagine living with him without feeling that we each had a defined role (as in wife and husband although I didn’t use these words)

I think when I said that he went into problem solving mode and started using logic, saying that it would be best for our baby and that he just wants to see what living together for a year plus would be like.

I don’t absolutely need marriage esp since his name is on the birth certificate and you can get legal protection even with LTRs but I just don’t feel like he’s emotional enough when it comes to this otherwise he would just say let’s be in a LTR or propose with a ring

Do I agree to this arrangement and if so, how do I seduce him to be even more emotionally involved?

I’m thinking maybe not say yes just yet and leave it up in the air?

His response was just a little too flimsy for my liking.

His emotions are involved, he’s written me love poems, and everything.

But what can I do to make him MORE confident, more emotional, without convincing him or making him feel like it’s not his idea?

Thank you lovelies

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chrisyankar · 2023-05-22T21:17:31+00:00

To generate attachment in a man, there is nothing better than helping him in his purpose and life mission.

TheBunk_TB · 2023-05-22T11:51:08+00:00

Both of you need to get more "healthy" before you try to be in each others lives that way.

Be a good co-parent first, work on yourselves second.

Don't be manipulative.

Title	How can I (25F) emotionally seduce him (30M) to get what I want
Author	itsdolcekay
Upvotes	0
Comments	18
Date	May 22, 2023 3:20 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/13oeys3/how_can_i_25f_emotionally_seduce_him_30m_to_get/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-can-i-25f-emotionally-seduce-him-30m-to-get.1219962 https://theredarchive.com/post/1219962

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