Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So, each is inevitably disappointed. ~ Albert Einstein, maybe, but probably not

 

There are many variations of the above quote but each gets to the heart of a very gendered difference in marriage. As women, we make a bet on a man, early in life, hoping that his edges will smooth and his potential will be reached. Men, on the other hand, take the gamble that his sweet young bride will continue to be the woman that he fell in love with no matter how many years go by.

 

Change of course, is inevitable. Our bodies change and our experiences change us. The question to ask is not “have I changed” because of course you have changed. Instead ask “Do I still fit into my wedding dress?”

 

This is a literal question as well as a metaphoric one. How close are you to the woman that stood at that altar and promised to love and cherish, honor and obey?

 

Change is inevitable but how much have you changed and why. Is your waist a touch thicker because age comes for us all or are you popping the seams of the dress? Do you sport a neat braid under your veil or have you sacrificed your locks on the altar of maternity. How about the wedding night lingerie? Are you still the woman who donned it to capture her husband’s attention? Or is it that side of you buried in a drawer, under ‘routine’ and ‘responsibility’ to never again see the light of day?

 

And what of the person you have become? With submission comes adaptability. Have you become a partner more or less like the man you love? Do you still think of him as the man you walked down the aisle for? Do his eyes still shine when he sees you? Change is inevitable, but when we are lucky, when we allow ourselves to bend, allow him to lead, then we change to become closer, two parts of a whole. Did you adapt to the path he set you both on, or do you fight to retain independence?

 

Would he marry you again today or have you moved too far from the sweet young bride?

 

Do you still fit into your wedding dress?