Get all that soulmate crap out of your head. It was BS then, and it’s even BSer now. Forget the idea of an “Amicable Divorce”, believing your ex about that is like believing President Putin’s weekend getaway in Kyiv wasn’t a prelude to All-Out Total Fucking War... don’t kid yourself.

I’m sure you’re a nice guy. Stop that shit right now! Snap out of it! Ask yourself “what would a Sociopath do?” Then do it. Think like Machiavelli. That’s how you need to divorce. Start making your own plans, she’s stopped including you in hers. Conflict every decent Divorce Lawyer in Town, and retain the best. Jurisdiction shop. Move States or Countries if you have to. File First, File Hard.

Hit the gym, see your friends, drink less, eat better. Update your wardrobe and your hair. Move house or apartment. Keep the shared stuff you want to reclaim as yours and only yours, get rid of the rest. Learn to live alone so you’ll never be dependent on anyone ever again. Doesn’t mean you can’t be with someone else, just that you’ll never stay with them for the wrong reasons. Travel, get a new motorbike, set goals, make lists.

Be a great Dad, show your kids how to live, be the honest calm reliable parent. They’re not stupid, they’ll work it out long term. Be their Dad, not their friend. That’s how long term you’re their friend.

Then get out there, and find yourself a smarter, blonder, gorgeouser girl.

(Hell another soulmate if you really must… nah, scratch that, maybe don’t do that) wait at least a year before even introducing them to your kids, ideally two.

I did all of the above, trust me, life gets better. A lot better!