Is the whole business in this place to simply choose to be powerful as opposed to weak?
More and more the matter of my LTR in it self is fading in the distance. It’s just a display of my weakness.
I see fear driving me to terrible states of anxiety where all I want, all I desire, from the bottom of my heart is comfort. To feel safe.
I’m starting to have the capacity to just say “I don’t want this, there’s nothing to fear”, and in doing so shift back in my frame and have power. Is that all it really boils down to?
I’ve had a couple of glorious weeks, I’ve also stumbled a few times, and the stumbling always goes back to fear taking over. And the fear at the bottom is always the same: “abandonment”. But abandonment is only a problem because of scarcity. Where I don’t believe in scarcity there is no fear.
There is shit to own and stuff to be learnt, for sure, and none of it is ever a problem when I’m sitting inside my head deciding what is good for me and period.
I’ve said it before, things go pear shape for me when I’m triangulating what should I do because I'm afraid of other people's reaction, instead of just doing because I want to.
Those of you that have had success, is that pretty much it?
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