36/F wife , got emotionally attached to someone else due to emotional abuse by me .(allegations after I confronted her. As per her she had told in past when I verbally abused and tried to get physical whenever I wanted of course she was part of the play )

39/M . We have been married from last 10 years and have 6 years daughter .

Recently I confronted my wife for having emotional attachment with someone else (cousin). There has been clear text exchanges between the cousin and her on the love . When confronted , she’s been telling it’s due to my emotional abuse (verbal spat) happening over the years. We have been married for 10+ years and have a daughter . As per her we never have been having that spark intimacy in our marriage which is true. There had been instances when even I had been gone out to prostitutes for sex which she had found out 6 years ago. Again when I have been confronted in past , I have not been telling the truth. But there has been lack of physical intimacy, sex in our relationship. When I touch her she’s not comfortable.

Our marriage started with problems and initial 2 years of marriage we were separated and not living together ,(again as per her due to my verbal shouts argerness, force sex on first night etc ) . We were on legal grounds for divorce after 2 years but she didn’t want to leave due to society and I too didn’t want that and we continued and lived together post 2 years together .

We now have 6 years old daughter and on verge of separation.

However I want to rebuild the relationship for the family . I want to stop doing emotional abuse (verbal spat if I am frustrated for lack of sex , disconnect etc )

Can the relationship be resolved ? Further how do I approach/ make her believe to have the connect with me. How can I make her feel comfortable, like me and we have healthy intimacy ?

Or how to get past over it ? We come from a traditional value system where divorce is stigma for both men and women . Still a part of me everyday says better to divorce but then other says to keep trying continuing .

Of course when asked her , she’s very adamant to leave the relationship once daughter is older or at times in next 2-3 months .