As a bi guy, who leans more towards men, I am at this point decently familiar with some of the issues in gay male culture. And there’s plenty, like any other group of people.

One of them is SA. There’s lot of issues with fetishization of certain people and not respecting boundaries, and I’ve personally got experience with it.

But I find it’s hard to bring it up: on the more conservative side you have your typical homophobia and stuff you’d expect. On the liberal, progressive, and feminist side though, male on male SA is used to dismiss female on male SA and rape. They assume guys are mostly SAed or raped by other men despite not being the case. They ignore the issue at any other point except when the topic of men being raped finally comes up and then they throw gay men under the bus just so they can go “it’s other men, look how awful men are.” Yet when straight guys mention uncomfortable experiences with gay men those same people call in homophobic (and don’t get me wrong, sometimes it is used that way, but they very clearly don’t care about the nuance in it. They just want the emphasis on them being men rather than an actual issue with some gay men)

It makes it hard to talk about my experiences with it, because they take it as another “all men” thing. I feel like I’m throwing the men who’ve dealt with female abusers under the bus, which isn’t fair to either of us because we should just be able to talk about this shit without it being weaponized against us.

This is getting extra frustrating with the rise in gay, bi, and trans men getting called privileged while ignoring all the issues these groups face in relation to being men.