So this is an article from 2018, but it’s more so an example of what I’m talking about than the actual topic itself, so I believe it is relevant. The article is basically about a survey that found that 95% of women say they prefer men showing emotions and crying, but 1/6 men believe women don’t want to see them cry (not sure if that’s from the same survey or not.) This is framed as men not understanding women and effectively making something up. While there are most definitely women who are not dismissive of their partner’s feelings, it’s odd that this sort of thing is often viewed as something made up by men, rather than a view based on personal experiences. It seems that women are often taken for their word without consideration of a potential disconnect with how they perceive themselves vs their actions, or potentially responding based on what they believe is the virtuous response rather than what is more reflective of them (or any other number of possibilities.) This isn’t to say most women are secretly selfish narcissists waiting to throw a man under the bus, but it’s hard to believe that so many men would believe in women not wanting to see them cry without reason. It’s frustrating that men’s experiences and perceptions are seen as unequal to women’s in many settings, and that there isn’t any further analysis of whether these women’s stated beliefs line up with their behaviour.

(I will say that I appreciate that line talking about men shelving their feelings for their families. Too many of these articles spin it as men being selfish, stunted, or afraid of emotions, despite many men saying they feel the need to be strong for others)

The article: Cry like a man: How women really want their men to show emotion