What I notice when a man steps out of gender roles and becomes feminine, they will always be viewed as a feminine guy. Doesn't matter what their personality is. It's like people either expect men to wear dresses, or be big strong lumberjacks. Of course, nothing is wrong with both. But it seems like men are trapped in a box where they must either be ultra-masculine or ultra-feminine.

For example, this might make it hard for men to be more than just one-dimensional, since this type of thinking on gender expression is black and white. What happens when normal guys care about taking care of their appearance, people automatically write these guys off as feminine. I even see people (usually women) joke about how there is a "sassy apocalypse" going on with men today. And when it comes to the opposite. I feel like people are quick to write off any man who is too serious, nonaffectionate, stoic, or not smiling as ultra-masculinity at best, or even toxic masculinity at worst.

This binary forces individuals into a box, leaving them with limited choices. On one side, they must embody ultra-masculinity, epitomized by the image of a rugged lumberjack. On the other side, they are expected to embrace ultra-femininity, symbolized by wearing dresses. Such polarized expectations place undue strain on men, denying them the freedom to express their complex identities and perpetuating harmful gender norms. The coercion of men into ultra-masculine stereotypes, like that of the lumberjack, disregards their diverse range of interests, skills, and emotions. It implies that strength and dominance are the sole markers of masculinity, neglecting traits such as sensitivity and vulnerability. Consequently, men who do not fit this mold may face ridicule or ostracism, leading to feelings of inadequacy or a diminished sense of self-worth. By confining men to such narrow definitions of masculinity, society overlooks the richness and complexity of their individuality.

On the other end of the spectrum lies the expectation for men to embrace ultra-femininity, exemplified by men wearing dresses. This coerced feminization reinforces the notion that femininity is inferior and undermines the autonomy of individuals to express their gender identity authentically. It perpetuates the idea that certain behaviors or clothing choices are strictly reserved for women, thus reinforcing harmful gender norms that stigmatize both men and women. Accepting a wider range of gender expressions would be better.

This is not just about masculine men vs feminine men. People also do the same thing with toxic masculinity vs positive masculinity. For example, I remember there was a picture of Huge Jackman. In the picture with Huge Jackaman in it, there were two sides. One side was the left side of the picture. That side shows a shirtless jacked angry Wolverine. The other side of the picture shows a Huge Jackman (irl) with a nice blue shirt, and he is smiling and he looks happy. IIRC the caption said women prefer the guy on the right because he is sensitive and looks safe. So my questions here are. Why do men have to be limited to these two types? Why can there be a spectrum? Why does society view men as either strong alpha males or Captain America-like superheroes?

In conclusion.

By placing men in a box where they must choose between toxic or positive masculinity, society limits their potential for personal growth and perpetuates harmful gender dynamics. And the pressure to conform to extreme versions of masculinity or femininity forces men into a restrictive box, stifling their freedom of self-expression.