I know I sound like a broken record here. Because I'm always talking about positive masculinity on this sub lol. But whenever I hear people talk about positive masculinity. It always seems to be about the benefit of women, and how men should always be nice to women. Being nice to women won't change anything. The male sucide rate will still be high. Men would still be lonely. Men will still have to work crappy dangerous jobs. Men will still be expected to be the providers and protectors. None of the issues that affect men will change in a world where men solved toxic masculinity, by just being super kind to women and calling it "positive masculinity".

When it comes to positive masculinity conversations, surprisely the mental health and hardships of men is usually ignored. And the focus of positive masculinity is usually about what benefit women. Even though positive masculinity is based on traditional masculinity, benevolent sexism, and the infantalization of women. But that's a conversation for another day lol. What people fail to realize is that once the focus is on men when it comes to positive masculinity. It automatically gets better for women by default (albeit not better in a way some women would want it to be lol).

But example let's say a woman is complaining about men always approaching her in public and she doesn't want to be harrassed by these men, (which is very understandable of course). But that harrassment comes from the gender role of men being the ones pressure to approach women or pursue women. Again if we make men the main focus of positive masculinity. We can easily say that society should tell men they don't need to get their validation or self worth as a man from chasing women. Tell men that they don't need to get their masculinity from being the pursuer.

It's so ironic that most of the issues women complain about, could easily be fixed if we actually focus on reconstructing male gender roles (for real this time). But instead I get pushback from both women and men (especially from both female and male feminists) whenever I bring up solutions. If you hate the idea of women getting slut shame. Don't virgin shame men then. After all men are expected to be the play boys with a lot of rizz right? If you hate the way society view assertive women. Then don't put a lot of pressure on men to be assertive. After all men are expected to be the confident ones.

If you hate that society view women as weak or think women need men help them, in order to survive. Then stop expecting the men to be the protectors whenever women are in bad situations. After all men are called cowards when they don't stand up for women. I find it so ironic how people could be so critical of the gender roles that affect women. But on the other side they still praise the gender roles that affect men. What they fail to realised is that the roles of both genders are connected. Just with all the examples I give with double standards before. You can easily view these double standards through a different lens. So one can easily make the argument and say women issues (especially social issues) are rooted in men having to follow their gender roles.

Again this is why I say putting the focus of positive masculinity on men to begin with. Will automatically be better for women by default. Treating women like princesses wouldn't be the solution here. For example, let's say a robber stole something from someone. Instead of this robber going to prison for their crimes. Someone thinks the solution here is for all robbers to be very kind to victims they stole from. And if they are kind this issue will never happen again. The world will be perfect if the robbers are just nice. There wouldn't be any crime anymore. (sarcasm)

What people fail to realize here is that. Simply being nice to the victim does not address the root causes or underlying issues that led the robber to commit the crime in the first place. It misses an opportunity for rehabilitation and addressing any potential factors like socio-economic disparities, lack of education, or unmet psychological needs that may contribute to criminal behavior. Consequently, there is a higher likelihood of recidivism, as the underlying problems remain unaddressed.

Now, shifting this analogy/example to the context of gender and toxic masculinity. The solution to addressing harmful behavior by men towards women should indeed focus on prevention rather than solely emphasizing niceness towards women after the fact. Emphasizing the prevention of toxic masculinity means addressing the societal norms and expectations that perpetuate harmful behavior. By challenging and dismantling the underlying beliefs and attitudes that contribute to toxic masculinity, in the first place.

Whether it's about education and awareness. When teaching men about consent. Or shifting societal norms and expectations. This is essential to combat toxic masculinity. This involves challenging traditional gender roles. We can foster healthier relationships and prevent gender-based harm.

In conclusion.

Addressing the root causes of toxic masculinity provides a more comprehensive and effective solution than simply being nice to women after harmful behavior occurs. It's that simple. But it seems like most people can't understand that for some reason.