I am going through a separation that is on its way to divorce. While I still have plenty of those moments, I think I'm finally over the hump and heading in the right direction physically, mentally, and emotionally. I wanted to put together a list of the things that have significantly helped me stay grounded and find some inner peace during this difficult time. I hope some of these help you too!

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1) Find Your Masculinity

- I found that I lost myself and sense of masculinity during the later years of my marriage and into the separation. So, I 've been redefining and rediscovering what being a "Man" means to me. This will probably look different to everyone and it doesn't necessarily mean Macho Man masculinity. Figure out what masculinity means to you and live it daily.

2) Physical Fitness

- Everyone recommends this and there's a good reason for it. All that negative energy and anger you feel when you're ruminating and over thinking gets blown off by a good run or time at the gym. Exercising got me through so much and helped get me back to center when I was having those crazy feelings.

3) Get Involved in Something Social

- I don't mean go out drinking every night. Find something to do one night a week that gets you out and social with people you don't know and who don't know your situation. Some ideas are: Club sports leagues, art classes, workout classes, Meet Up groups, and open jam nights for those musicians. I found an awesome Bluegrass Jam night I go to every Tuesday and I play in a club sports league on Monday.

4) Build Your "Tribe"

- If you don't have a group of guys to spend time with, then go build one. Not people who live in different states and cities. I'm talking a group of guys who you can regularly do things with in person. People you can catch the game with, golf , play video games, or just hang around the fire and be dudes.

5) Stay Focused at Work

- Don't let work slip because of your personal situation. When you're at work, be at work. If you find yourself having a hard time concentrating then figure out how to ground yourself and focus.

6) Create a Ritual or Routine

- Your ritual or routine will keep you on track and take any kind of decision making out of the equation. It'll set you on autopilot so you know exactly what you're doing. Before bed, I get everything ready for the next day down to the pair of socks I'm going to wear. Alarm goes off and I'm out of bed - No snooze. Gym gear is packed, work clothes are ready, and I'm cruising because of the easy prep from the night before. This has helped me tremendously. Especially on those days where all you want to do is go sit and do nothing.

7) Focus on Your Appearance

- Not trying to be vain here, but I believe when you look good, you feel good. Get in shape, go get some decent new clothes that fit right, stay groomed - shave, get a hair cut, keep your downstairs cleaned up, and whiten those teeth if they were yellow like mine were. Take care of your skin, and don't forget to clip those nasty fingernails. Yeah, you...Get the dirt out of those things. I started doing this 2 months ago and it's made a huge difference in my confidence and the way I feel about myself. It's also a good feeling when you get a nice smile from a lovely lady at the grocery store. Do this for you - Not other people.

8) Read

- I was never a fan of reading. Then I found I had a lot of down time while my kids are at their mom's. I started to read. Then I started to like reading. Now I read even more! Doesn't matter what it is. Just read.

9) Meditate

- This is something I picked up in the last month and man it's a game changer. In an emotionally volatile time, meditating each morning for 10 minutes has tremendously helped me stay grounded and centered. There are tons of free guided meditations on Spotify or YouTube. Give it a shot. I promise you'll notice a difference and become more present.