Have you ever questioned your preferences?

Wattehfok · 2023-12-03T04:50:25+00:00

Yep. Most significantly when I met my wife.

I’d always been very into tall, dark, aloof, artsy girls. My romantic life was a disaster.

Then I met a tiny, loud blonde who was obsessed with sports. Not my “type” at all.

We’ve been very happy for over 20 years.

grillopie · 2023-12-03T03:22:37+00:00

I've never questioned my preferences. I've always accepted they weren't set in stone. 1 random person on 1 random day can break a lot of them.

boredom4321 · 2023-12-03T09:41:57+00:00

I know why I'm attracted to extroverts because I want my partner to be the same energy I am. I don't need some goddamn homebody who thinks spending 6 out of 7 days a week in the house doing nothing is a good way to live. It's boring to me and gives me cabin fever.

People are attracted to others who fit into their lifestyle. The ones who hit on everyone regardless of compatibility are probably desperate and will take anyone who says yes.

Independent-Mail-227 · 2023-12-03T03:34:47+00:00

Yes and it made me lose interest in romantic relationships.

Enflamed-Pancake · 2023-12-03T12:36:48+00:00

Yes. In general my preferences seemed to be linked to assumptions in my mind of what kind of individual I would be compatible with.

I don’t have much of a ‘type’ in looks. I find a wide variety of women very attractive.

But for personality I would have a definite preference for introverted, bookish types over loud extroverted types. I don’t enjoy the company of loud people in general.

DrawRevolutionary483 · 2023-12-03T13:34:11+00:00

I had a strong preference for a virgin a woman, however i spent too much time arguing online about it against the prejudice that was thrown at me for it mostly.

Later down the road i started to question it myself and then i realized i would be more compatible with one.

For example im a very romantic and idealistic person, i never took any interest in casual sex nor pornography, im one of those rare men who never liked porn, i always dreamed about finding that one and only person with whom we can be each other first and last forever in a relationship. Also im somewhat religious although i dont think religion plays a role in it as i dont care about it because i consider it a sin, but more for spiritual and idealistic love reasons I have a very romantic view of women too, of course not all of them fit this description but as long as one does is more than enough. I spend most of my life forging my character and improving myself so i could be a better man and a better partner, im confident i have what i takes to have a happy fuliling life lasting relationship so i think a woman who had the mindset of saving herself for the right guy or at least never took any interest in hookup culture and this hypersexualization nonsense could be a good match with me.

This is not set in stone as i dont think a woman who isnt a virgin is an inmediate no, many women arent virgins because they became widows, or maybe they were sex trafficking victims, or maybe they had to resort to prostitution for money, or they were raped, also they probably also fell prey to this hypersexualized culture that pushes women to be "cool" to the benefit of pornsick degenerates and guys who just want to get the milk for free, things arent black or white and there is a lot of nuance in this situation but at the end of the day picking the woman who held strong to her convictions would be the fair thing to do for me.

This kind of mindset led me to turn down a looooot of opportunities to have sex (that i wasnt interested in first place) so i managed to stay celibate as of my mid 20s and avoid the drama and heartbreak of teenage relationships and that, so i lost my virginity partially (although i dont consider myself a virgin anymore) at a later age compared to the average to someone who lied about theirs so i guess most virgin women will disqualify me over it but thats okay, we re not entitled to no ones affection at the end of the day.

I discovered that for a relationship to properly work (as in woman doesnt gets bored of you and is with you for love and not for convenience) you have to put a lot of effort a man, not only in the relationship but in yourself, so yeah, if i have to make such a huge investment then better to do it to a woman who is in the more restricted conservative side(at least when it comes to sex and relationships, in anything else is okay if she is liberal)

its-probly-over · 2023-12-03T03:27:31+00:00

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Spyro7x3 · 2023-12-03T06:05:16+00:00

I question all of my feelings and opinions or rather try to find out where they arise from.

I think I prefer pale light eyed women simply because contrast is sexy. I don't think that preference will ever change though primal things shouldn't ever change you should own them but social things like not liking women who don't wear long nails or high heels or something is silly and subject to change.

Jaded_Interaction162 · 2023-12-03T07:41:00+00:00

Yes I have. My preferences come from a deep dark hole.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2023-12-03T09:51:30+00:00

Yes, I did, it frustrated me. Because I realize that it's not that important or whatever. But it's still not in my power to change it.

Take food as an example. If you don't like some food, you can tell yourself it's healthy and you should eat it. But you still FEEL the unplesant taste, it will still TASTE bad to you.

So even though I realize it and question it, I still can't chance, because those preferences are not rational calculations, it's just FEELING towards those things.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2023-12-03T10:23:29+00:00

lol why would anyone but a mental patient think or worry about "inherent sexism" dating lol

wtknight · 2023-12-03T14:29:20+00:00

Yes, I questioned my preferences. Usually it came down to preferring the type of women who would be more likely to be attracted to me. So I didn't lose any sleep over questioning my preferences.

mlo9109 · 2023-12-03T14:52:56+00:00

Yes... And wondered if my singleness is a result of divine punishment for them. I've almost exclusively dated outside of my race/faith. My most serious relationship ended with his going back to India for an arranged marriage. My parents told me I "got what I asked for being in unequally yoked relationships." I often wonder if they're right.

Safinated · 2023-12-03T16:22:24+00:00

Yes, because adults should know themselves

Title	Have you ever questioned your preferences?
Author	Think_Day_8061
Upvotes	6
Comments	22
Date	December 2, 2023 10:24 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/189er49/have_you_ever_questioned_your_preferences/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/have-you-ever-questioned-your-preferences.1239902 https://theredarchive.com/post/1239902

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